The diaries are sold!

Ardent fans will have noticed that things have been quiet here recently. We can put all minds at rest, the office did not sink under the cape winter storm surge. We do sometimes run a mobile office, so yes it can be located upstairs at the Bell, or downstairs at Polana (more on that later).

Anyways, we have been in Switzerland doing some press doomsday avoiudance work for Fritz Sonnentsberg, head of CERN. As you might be aware, they are finally pushing the big green button on the LHC. Someone needs to control the hippies and bible bashers.

The big news out of the trip is that we had a meeting with Sheik Al Bhandi, owner of ZAIN telecoms. The Deep South Diaries have been sold to his company as they prepare to roll out their attack on MTN. The figure can not be confirmed as its still being rubber stamped in sand land, but I can vouch that its more than Kirsty Coventry gets from Bob.

They have big plans for the site, and hope to use it as a vehicle for their False Bay camel racing series. Sounds like a blast. Unfortunately due to restraint of trade we can only report on rock music, hippies and parties. Never fear, keep an eye out here and you'll see what's coming next from the team.

 

ps. thirsty capetonians are in for some confusing drinking down south this summer. is it the polana in kalk bay, or the paulaner in kalk bay?phonetically iDENTical, but world's apart. the new Brauhaus is due a visit soon.

world's greatest bike thief...caught!

dunno how no-one noticed
***************

Canadian police have caught the man believed to be the world's most prolific bike thief, after they recovered 2,865 stolen bicycles from the owner of a Toronto bike shop.

Ever since Igor Kenk was arrested last month, some 15,000 Torontonians have visited the police station garage where his swag was taken, hoping to pick out their own bikes among the vast collection. A surprisingly large number of them have been lucky: Toronto police told the Guardian yesterday that so far about 500 people had been reunited with their bicycles.

Kenk, 49, who owned a crammed shop called the Bicycle Clinic, is currently out on CAN$275,000 bail (£142,000), awaiting trial in September on 58 charges of theft, attempted theft, possession of stolen goods and possession of burglary tools.

Kenk was arrested on July 18, when Toronto police, noticing that bike theft had spiked sharply in June, planted bicycles on the streets and watched to see who stole them. As plain clothes officers hid in wait, Kenk and another man walked past. Kenk seemed to tell his companion to cut the locks on two bikes, which he did, before the pair attempted to pedal away.

When police raided the Bicycle Clinic, the shop was so jam-packed that the fire service had to remove the upper-floor windows and lower the bikes out by rope. Later, 200 more bikes were seized in Kenk's home, along with large quantities of drugs, in a smart neighbourhood in Toronto. Ten landlords around the city also reported that they had rented garages to Kenk, which were chock-full of bikes.

Though Kenk's motive is currently unclear, the New York Times reported that police believe he may have been playing the commodities markets, waiting for another spike in metal prices before melting down the bicycles.

Gremlins

we had a hacker of sorts. some security measures went on the blink.

but lots of odd things happened, even Dave's 'THE SYSTEM' went on the blink at Grandwest. Maybe it only works up the west coast?

meanwhile things are happening on the water with the annual tea baron streetfight:

lipton cup

official spoof site

phelps vs cavic - update

so it turns out Cavic never protested, it was his swimming union. and like a bunch of fools they only showed half the evidence. from the rest it appears that phelps just got there amazingly!

of course there are like a 100 videos of it already, this one is actually more like a powerpoint so shouldn't get pulled:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGyUD4W9VjI

this one should stay, it's already been rickrolled


go look google rickrolling if you don't know about it!

and in the greatest olympic moment, i bring you eric the eel

Silver and Gold

good people around the world would know that as Track 8 on U2's 1988 album, Rattle and Hum. it was an anti apartheid song,but for two weeks in august every four years it means something else.

So the phelpster won 8 golds. he got frikken lucky with #2, where Jason Lezak overhauled a massive deficit on a top 100m swimmer, alain bernard on the final lap.

then the seventh one, phelpster pulled back another lead to win the 100m butterfly by 1 hundredth of a second.


or did he?
pictures tell a thousand words.



so is this another did they really land on the moon conspiracy?fishy thing is Phelps is sponsored by the official timkeepers Omega

more here www.001ofasecond.com
and from Cavic himself

my blood are green

you might not have noticed it, but we lost the trinations last week-end. Yes we were playing 'los pumas' who aren't in the competition, yet.

The problem is this - schedule of three consecutive matches:
NZ 0
Aus 1
Sa 2

then our greedy bonehead administrators go and throw in another match so we now play 4 in a row. fools, we're world champs despite them.

Anyway, the big crunch game is really this week-end, we normally have the hold on oz over here. If you haven't got your tickets, good luck. My bet would be to go here:
http://www.zafanzone.co.za/101.html

of course that's an artists impression, as its a construction site right now.

Ramble scouting #1

so it's back on the menu:http://muizies.blogspot.com/2007/09/looong-week-end-ahead.html

the Backgarden Ramble 2008, with a extension to five days. book 20/21 september. details to follow

did some recce on the route yesterday, what a fine fine time it was.

Beijing #1

So the opening ceremony gets going today and then its sports madness for two weeks.

 

It's always interesting looking at the make-up of our squad, due to all the politics that go with it.

 

So lets talk about the biggest joke i can see.

 

Amateur boxing, probably the third biggest sport in the country after soccer and athletics.

 

Jackson Chauke (51kg Flyweight)  - Profile | Schedule

1 dude. I reckon boxing south africa must be a bunch of incompetent buffoons.

 

then you compare it to something like, fencing: Putting up electric wires around houses - big in south africa. swordfighting in gymhalls? she not very beeg.

so how big is the fencing team?

Jyoti Chetty (Women, Sabre) - Profile | Schedule
Adele Du Plooy (Women Sabre) - Profile | Schedule
Elvira Wood (Women Sabre) - Profile | Schedule
Michael Wood (Men's Epee) - Profile | Schedule
Dario Torrente (Men's Epee) - Profile | Schedule
Sello Maduma (Men's Epee) - Profile | Schedule

WTF?

 

 if that attachment comes through, you can see that someone here is sucking cock at SASCOC, and they all have Sello to thank. I bet the Woods are married and couldn't afford a honeymoon. Dario is 42, our oldest dude the olympcs.

case of beer says none of them even make it past the first round. 

 

fourth is last

So, just got the news from Sascoc. despite many behind closed door meetings, i will not be the last minute inclusion to the olympic squad. i blame Bhutana.

Will just keep the chin up, and start planning for London 2012. meanwhile lets be proudly seffrican and see what's on the menu?

once again, the aussies will make us cry with their medal haul. i got lazy and ctrl c ctrl v the spiel from sport.iafrica.com. don't think they complain as it wasn't even proofred. yes it is GODFREY!



Lords of the Rings
Article By: Rob PetersMon, 04 Aug 2008 22:47
With the Beijing Olympics kicking off this weekend, we list South Africa’s top medal contenders at the Summer Games! And, as expected, all eyes will again be on the pool this year.


SWIMMING

Team South Africa has generally done the best in the pool and we expect 2008 to be no different with a number of swimmers capable of a medal in the pool.

Roland Schoeman:

South Africa’s most successful swimmer at Athens four years ago, Schoeman continues to build on his success with a number of world records to his name. Schoeman can be expected to lead the charge in the swimming again this year.

Men's 4x100 freestyle team (Roland Schoeman, Ryk Neethling, Lyndon Ferns and Gideon Louw): The team stunned the world when they won gold in Athens, and while they have not shown the same world-beating form since then, there form of late has shown improvement with fourth place at the world champs. Gideon Louw has replaced Darian Townsend in the team from Athens and we are picking the boys for a podium finish.

Suzaan van Biljon: After a strong showing at the World Short Course Champs this year — a gold in and bronze in the 200m and 100m breaststroke respectively — the young swimmer is definitely one to keep an eye on in Beijing.

Gerhard Zandberg: The captain of the swimming team has shown his pedigree with a gold at the world champs in 2007 — one of only two for SA at the event — and will be determined to build on that performance at the Olympics this year. Zandberg will be competing in the 100m and 50m freestyle as well as the 50m backstroke and is a strong contender in all the events.

Natalie du Toit: Some might consider Du Toit happy with just qualifying for the able-bodies Games this year, but the driven young swimmer will be a realistic chance for a medal in the 10km open-water swim after finishing fourth at the world champs in Spain this year, thus earning her qualification. And if anybody can beat the odds, it is Natalie…

CYCLING

Team SA has two surprise contenders for medals in the cycling this year and both riders are seen as very realistic hopes of standing atop the podium come race-day.

Sifiso Nhlapo: Young BMX rider Nhlapo has been burning up the track lately, qualifying for Beijing with a third place at the world champs earlier this year. He has consistently been finishing on the podium during the series and has to be seen as a strong challenger at the Games.

Burry Stander: MTB star Burry Stander has been dominating the U23 World Cup, but it was his silver medal in the open event at the World Cup race in Andorra this year that made everybody sit up and take notice. Finishing behind current world champion Cristoff Sauser, Stander showed he has the ability to challenge the top racers and now finds himself a serious challenger in Beijing.

TRACK AND FIELD:

South Africa’s hopes in the track and field events are certainly not looking as good as previous Olympics, but we do have some challengers for medals.

Mbulaeni Mulaudzi: An Olympic silver medalist in 2004, Mulaudzi is back on track to challenge for a podium spot in 2008 after a strong showing at the Herculis Super Grand Prix meeting in July this year. The 800m star ran his fourth fastest time at the event, finishing in third place, and setting himself up well for Beijing.

Godfrey Mokoena (check up on first name) Long-jumping hopeful Mokoena has not been living up to his potential of late, but he regularly jumps over eight metres and on a good day he is one of the best in the world. He reportedly had a falling out with his coach – just a month before the Games – which is worrying, but he is still one to watch.

ROWING:

Ramon di Clemente and Shaun Keeling: Top SA Olympian Ramon Di Clemente and his new partner Shaun Keeling have been in fantastic form ahead of Beijing. Winning bronze at the World Cup in Poland and then winning the Henley Royal Regatta on the River Thames in July, the pairing have gelled fantastically well together. So expect the pair to pose a formidable challenge in Beijing.

CANOEING

Shaun Rubenstein: Before his Beijing qualification, Rubenstein was primarily a marathon contender, his decision to focus on the sprints was made with the Olympics in mind. And while he may not have had a breakthrough success in the discipline as of yet, he is knocking at the door with a couple of fourth-place finishes at World Cup events. The races are also incredibly close in the canoeing sprints and Rubenstein has a very good chance of a medal.

King Roger steps off the throne

This time last year it was unimaginable. He'd just won one of the greatest Wimbledon finals in a five setter and still had a good handle on the improving youngster who took him that far. We looked at it then

 

It looks like the reign of Roger Federer as the worlds No.1 player is over, for now. He's had a disastrous year by his standards. Normally he only loses the French Open final, this year he hasn't even won a grandslam yet.

 

He lost in the third round to Croatia's Ivo Karlovic despite holding all service games. If Nadal wins the tournament, then the 235 week run at the top is over. He's still young 26 and to be honest should have a longer career than 22 year old Nadal, who's body has to breakdown the way he plays.

 

Of course the Olympic Games and US Open are ideal places to bounce back from, but it's going to be really interesting to see if this is a blip in form or a genuine handover.

Don't forget about Australian Open champion Djokavic throwing a spanner in the works too. Rafa has to get past him in the tournament first.

 

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how to fool security

So the security guys know me pretty damn well now. Come to work everyday for many moons and the faces become rather familiar. They feel for me when i pop in over the week-ends to get stuff done and dig it that i ride to work fairly often too.


Clearly some suit in an office above me sent out a directive, because now we all get checked for our access cards on arrival. Remember we're military stuff here, so it's supposed to be top secret, 'no unauthorised access' to get in the buildings anyway. So I walk through the gate and Joshua holds out his hand as if he's got an access card between his thumb and forefinger. It's an obvious way to say, 'show me your card, please'.

(it'll be much easier if you think about guys trying to tell stories about the size of fish they caught right here). This morning I took both hands and held them a foot apart, and said:
“hayi, madoda. wena makhwenkhwe, Joshua?” and i then changed my hand to 'holding the access card' and pointed at him.

Sello and Piet (the other two guards at the gate) just canned themselves. I walked straight past with them not noticing that i'd left my card at home.

Some of the whiteys out there might need an explanation, but i hold no responsibility to the accuracy of these facts:
madoda – post initation, ie. A Man who has come of age
makhwenkhwe – pre initiation, ie still a boy. If a Xhosa male does not go through his initiation ritual, then he can still be considered a makhwenkwe, no matter what the age.

It's a great way to get rid of the car guards, but doesn't seem to work on the Congolese dudes.

Elgin, we have a problem

RTD wishlist

So you might have noticed that I got found by these guys pretty damn quickly after I posted this. Not sure what they do all day, is google really watching me?

snapshot of carbon neutrality from my bike

Anyway, it seems like they're listening and they take their CARBON NEUTRAL (just put that in so it lights up their search engine) pretty seriously. Yes, you can save the planet by selling hemp t-shirts. Yes, three thousand people driving 100km will be offset by a grove of olive trees IF you recycle their waste. BIOdiesel is apparently not hogwash. ok, sure i believe you.

But whilst i have their attention, for what it's worth lets get that varied wishlist in:
KidofDoom
Perez Perez Perez
Harris Tweed
Karen Zoid
Dan Patlansky
Japan and I

and locals
Jacsharp (saw em last year for the first time)
Delta Blue (they still around?)
Valiant Swart
Boulevard Blues
Tait

and for the comedy slot, those 12th Avenue clowns


That's all for now, and if you hippies care I rode to work today.

l8test technology

So the one bonus about working in a hitech firm is that I get to see the next way the spietkops scnhaai us with speeding fines and cameras.

And no, I don't get exemption from paying them (but do have one outstanding - who shot the sheriff?).

Now this vehicle has been driving around our parking lot. The three cameras read the licence plates and checks them on a database realtime. Then they clamp you if you're an offender.


oh, and it has a killer sound system too.

The floral mystery, parth three

ok, so the first time I got in for free, so it was acceptable. But they pushed it last year, and i feel silly for going back for more!

The first music festival to actually work in cape town, is back!
Rocking the daisies - my gripe is that i still have yet to see any daisies there. this year its 3-5 oct, and again at Cloof wine estate

You won't find any band lineups there, but I'm on the inside, so will give you the prelim list:
ALAN FUNK, ETC CREW, DIRTY SKIRTS, NUNGARIN, BED ON BRICKS, AMA AMBUSH, AKING, FIRE THROUGH THE WINDOW, SON OF A THOUSAND BLUES, TAXI VIOLENCE, JULIA JAKOBSEN, TIDAL WAVES, HOT WATER, GOLDFISH, 7th SON, NAPALMA, UNIT R, NEW LOUD ROCKETS, MAMA KNOW NOTHING, SPOONFEEDAS, PLUSH, GODESSA, KOLO NOVO MOVIE BAND, 340ML, FARRYL PURKISS.

maybe there's some up country stuff to be added later too.

unfortunately it puts me in a quandry of sorts, as I'll miss out on both Lourensford MTB Classic and the Voet Marathon. But it's an easy choice, gotta go find that tent of mine.

the do try push the whole green earth bullsh1t thing, even going so far as claiming a 'carbon neutral' festival. 3000people driving 100km to go watch some bands? last year they gave us hemp tickets (and a paper receipt) and some hippie with grey hair planted a few olives. erm, can we listen to the band please? shot.

Allez allez

ok, so i'm going to be sick tomorrow afternoon. I'm pretty healthy, (despite the few cuts and scrapes on knee and elbow from a loss of concentration over the week-end, tar hurts!) but sometimes you need to make an excuse to get out the office to do something more important.

the road goes up there

Mine is to watch the biggest showdown on bikes we'll see in a longtime - the slog up Alp D'huez. It's a mythical climb and every cyclist wants to win this stage. It goes up three monster mountains.



Col du Galibier, Croix-de-Fer and L’Alpe d’Huez that are among the most daunting climbs in the Alps. This stage could well decide the final outcome of the race because the riders will have been in the saddle six hours before coming to final ascent. The 13.3km, 21-turn climb to the finish at L’Alpe d’Huez (population 1,700) is a classic, averaging 8.6 percent, with the second kilometer the steepest at 11.2 percent.

ouch, i think suikerbossie has only 15% of that altitude gain. no need to worry about the whole drug story thing, none of these guys are on pronutro

A thousand words

ok, so i don't have the permission to use this photo. It's well rather,........ I 'll just shut up and now and you decide.

my friend gus

Yes Tim, you have a problem

Well if you go to the right side of this screen you might see a link to my pal Tim. Don't bother following that link(and improve his analytics from single digit hits), he hasn't posted anything for 2 months and is rumoured to be:
a)dead
b)working on a mine in frozen northern canada.

personally that's a tough choice right there, innit?!

anyway, he's proud of his Salomon shoe collection, so proud he even wrote about them
here. {F@#k there i go and quadruple his ratings with that link}

naaaice

Anyway, i laugh at his k@k collection. My Salomon shoes are way cooler than yours Biltong boy. That's a pair of snowclogs on the left, best shoes for snow walking.I'm not just saying that, they frikken rock, and I'm standing whilst everyone else has slipped all over their nana's. In the middle you have my snowboard boots, and on the right, the inners (i did that to make it look like three pairs...sneaky)

as you can imagine, i think Tim's collection do more km's than mine

hi tech biking

next time you play poker look at the back of your card whilst small blind is weighing up his 7-2 unsuited. See how little the bicycle has really changed in 100 years (if you not playing with bicycle cards, then tell the host not to f@#k around next time).

of course there have been some huge advances over the years, and it looks like we might be facing the next one. It's been toyed with over the years, but just like flat screen tv's it seems to have been done right.

looks normal?

I'm talking about electronic shifting, i'm sure the suits at Shimano will call it "ride by wire" (because E-dura-ace is just too kak).
The big thing is that they are actually using it at the Tour.

and the back

will it work? well the one guy did get stuck in his 53-14 gear ratio the other day and they had to give him another bike!maybe the batteries were low. it'll be a fair while till we see these in your LBS

Check it out
here
and here

more muizies than the soopertube

so there's been some moaning about the recent lack of deep south content. It's winter for pete's sake (incidentally ideal surfing time).

So I'm gonna show you the latest surfboard to be born into the house. We've got some dutchies right now, and they are now into the whole surf vibe solid, i skeem. Three new custom boards, and this is the latest - what a beauty:



of course the irony it's a shortboard, which won't see much of muizies rollers but that's mere details.

currently doing its sea trials at J-Bay - naaaice!

Snow business like snow business

So we ran away from the sea, and strapped on a board of a different type.

ski bums

unfortunately the camera and me, did not spend the whole day together, but it's hard to take photos of powder anyway. yes pow pow pow.

Gav on the bunny slope

unfortunately there's a snowboarders/skiiers stand off and we couldn't use the lift. You EARN your turns when you hiking, lets just not tell physio why i am so sore today!

of course the location is top secret (thanks racerchicky), and requires some serious driving skills to get there. {anyone know if the 'diff lock' button in the isuzu bakkie is active or passive?)

bizarre problemo

so knysna hippie girl sms's me the other night really late.

'i just won a sheep, what do you do with a whole sheep?!'

 

well like duh, SPITBRAAI!

 

It appears she is actually in Knysna, and this is what they give out in nightclubs instead of drink specials. So all we really need is a bakkie coming home from the forest marathon this weekend. Anyone?

 

That's much cooler than slagging the thing there and putting it into mulitple coolboxes.

 

--
__/\/¯¯¯¯¯¯\/\__
No sympathy for the tubed

and we're back!

and running two blogs, for now!

yip, the race was awesome, so plenty of material there still to get out.


otherwise check out this bad business. the whole olympic sailing venue has been hit by the green glob....some algae crap that even the army has been called in to clean up!

Moblog

testing 123

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__/\/¯¯¯¯¯¯\/\__
No sympathy for the tubed

the future is two wheeled

Things are going to be very quiet here soon.

aahhhh

because they are going to be noisier elsewhere.

yay

but we won't be in muizies

aaaah

but rather on a bike,

yay

racing across the country

yay

blogging a trail the whole way (network dependant!)

more here

just a teaser, here's my pool table right now!

a whole lotta box

Nonthuthulezo the Princess

So we've sat on the fence with this whole Zeno Xenophobia thing. Awesome news just in is that the Sandvlei caravan park is being primed for the next refugee camp. This is mainly due to the Community Centres that are currently housing the 7000 homeless have mostly been booked for weddings with non-refundable deposits. I saw the 6 marquees go up on Friday, but they are still empty. Must remember to get the Lauren Hill and Wyclif Jean cd's out the box.

So when I had the weekly chit chat with my domestic, I had to ask how things were in her area.

Me: have there been any problems close to home?

Princess: No it's fine, we have a nice community. But it's terrible, that our people can be so selfish.

M: I know.

P: It's really sad for me to see it, how people can forget that only 30 years ago they all came from the Transkei and did the same thing. They're really selfish and I'm embarrassed.

Bless her soul, she's an absolute star.

More Top brands at bargain prices

So the folks up at North Sails know their stuff. We don't have space to list all the things they won, but they won it all (more or less). And when they try their hand at other things it's good. Like their North windsurf range (the entire thing is available to view on snailman's garage). I hear their kite stuff is top notch too.

fashionista grey

So when you can get your hand on some of their accessories, it's unlikely to end in disappointment. Even if it is a pair of their woolly gloves going for a mere twenty. Don't know how well they'll handle the saltwater, but the shop assistant at Pep said they would.

The Fire Sale

It's probably considered a disease because I'm not the only one with it. And i got a real bad case too.

Firesales - just can't avoid them. The CapeStorm one is legendry, and the firstAscent one did not disappoint either. So very kak news in that muizies' Bike Store, the Bike Haven has had to close, for now. Justin Berry is a very cool guy, but they been robbed 3 times in the very recent history. This despite the fact that the copshop is just the other side of the field.

Sitting Ducks

So in a bid to avoid bankruptcy and clear some stock, they had a daylight robbery sale. After punishing my Wellgo SPD pedals for nigh on 7 years, I opted to stick with the brand. I haven't been overly impressed, so was in a real quandry on Saturday. Go for Crank Bros Candy C's or a Ritchey SPD set? At below cost? Well even my fast disappearing budget wanted 'em both, so we'll see which set gets the nod.

Africa is not a continent for sissies

The call was made for a ‘no poefdes’ week-end, and we had a grand total of four pitching in.


The program was simple to say the least. Wake up early and drive to McGregor, get on bikes and ride to Rawsonville.

local signage

Meanwhile, the car gets there and two fly fishermen jump out and get some trout for a lekker fishbraai.

kak campsite

The ride was awesome, nothing like touring through rough country on old wagon trails with a dodgy map for 9 hours. It was entertaining to see that Brandvlei prison looks more like a country club (we rode straight through it, hardly anyone around).

just chillin'



We pulled into Trouthaven after dark, to find that the boys had indeed caught fish, but it was a catch and release river. Tuna pasta demolished next to a roaring fire.

nice and peaceful

Next day we headed up valley in the car and tried to hike out of the kloof. Stettynskloof is not for moffies, and we got our asses kicked. Silly us thought we were actually ahead of schedule, but then the path just disappeared and it was bundu of Voortrekker proportions, and we turned back to the cars still about two hours hack to the nek. I left some blood there, but will be taking revenge in early July.

here be dragons

who's the boss of number 2?

space:the final frontier.

it must be tough living it up in the international space station. especially when your russian built crapper packs up.

Washington - The International Space Station's lone toilet is broken, leaving the crew with almost nowhere to go. So Nasa may order an in-orbit plumbing-service call when the space shuttle Discovery visits next week.

Until then, the three-man crew will have to make do with a jury-rigged system when they need to urinate.

While one of the crew was using the Russian-made toilet last week, the motor fan stopped working, said Nasa. Since then, the liquid waste-gathering part of the toilet has been working intermittently. Fortunately, the solid waste-collecting part is functioning normally.

Russian officials do not know the cause of the problem and the crew has been unable to fix it. They are now using a bag system

wonder which one they use, after the Hindunaut serves up his dish of freeze dried curry

The Homegrown Onion

The easiest job in the country?

Got to be Zapiro, as all his material is just dished up by public figures day in day out. Now if only they could get JZ to actually draw too, then they'd be properly waxed.

If you've ever spent any time in Oz, Canada, Denmark etc. you'll understand how boring boring news can be. Yay, flippie the donkey gets a new home and other such headline grabbers.

So some clever guys took the real news, and gave it a bit of spin. Enter the worlds top satire site - The Onion.

It had to happen, it was so blinking obvious that it would work here. The bonus is that half the articles won't even need to be spiced up. Thanks phil for pointing my browser at HAYIBO

The most hardcore man on the planet

no surprises, is an ex-Matie.

Mike Horn, what a legend. He makes that Kingsley Holgate adventurer/buffoon look like a fat slob (no surprises there actually). First man to Hydrospeed the Amazon, after paragliding off Aconcagua to get there. what a legend.

Anyway, whilst waiting to secure the funding for his first man to swim round the moon project, he's gonna just go round the world again on his own steam.

Check the press release for Project Pangea

or just read this:
One of the most remarkable voyages of exploration ever undertaken — a four-year trans-navigation of the globe by sea and by land — is launched by South African adventurer-explorer Mike Horn, in the presence of HSH Prince Albert of Monaco.
Among the guests present at the launch in Monaco to support this groundbreaking environmental initiative was Mrs Gaynor Rupert, wife of Mr Johann Rupert, Executive Chairman of Richemont SA , who has agreed to be the ‘Godmother’ of Pangaea.
The expedition, named ‘Pangaea’ after the supercontinent that existed 250-million years ago (and an acronym for his Pan Global Adventure for Environmental Action), will cover 100 000 kilometres, reaching the North and South Poles and crossing all the continents and the oceans. His mission is to unite the continents again through the Young Explorers Program, with a powerful environmental message, to share his knowledge and to initiate environmental solutions for future generations.
The baptism in Monaco begins a four-month road show that will take Pangaea from Monaco to Barcelona, Hamburg, Iceland and London, ending in Lorient.
The Pangaea Expedition begins on 9 October when Mike Horn sets sail from Punta Arenas in Chile on the first stage of his epic journey to Antarctica, where Horn will trek to the South Pole. Then his route will take him through Australasia, China, Russia, to the North Pole, then across Greenland, North and South America and back to Punta Arenas.

what a legend

The stupor 14

go BRYAN
So when odd one got the fourth try that effectively bumped the Stormers down to fifth and semifinal wilderness, it was time to go sort out the braai and murder that bottle of red that was looking so cheeky. Of course they had really put the Stormers out of their misery as a trip to Christchurch without Schalk was the best case scenario.

Now in the spirit of national pride I should be lauding the impressive display from the tjaaks, but unfortunately that is a bridge too far to cross for me. I do feel for Kanko, who's been outstanding all year and even Jake agrees that he should have been there with the 8 on his back in Paris and not that Danie like to play rugby bonehead we had.

So why the anti Natal stance, you say? The easy answer is that I was a fan of the Banana Boys until I met their supporters at varsity. As unbiased as a bowling ball, its just not worth your time talking rugby with them. But there are other reasons why we'll be giving a hoohaa to the 'Tahs come Saturday.
***They really do whine. Still moaning about that away loss to the Brumbies where the ref cocked it up. Well lets go to Round 2, where they needed the touch judge to remove Schalk from the field before sneaking in by 2 points.

***They still whine about last year's final, where they blame the ref when they could have just kicked the ball out.

***They have been playing really crap all year. They click for two weeks and all of a sudden they're championship material.

***Ajventer.com - it's down (thank god), but the salt has got to him (and looks like Frans is going the same way)
***Their ability to f#$% talented players up. Gaffie, Brent Russel come to mind first, let's hope they don't do the same to Frans Steyn.

***They go on and on about how their academy discovers and nurtures the best players. Offering a kid playing for Grey Bloem 1st XV a contract is hardly talent scouting of the highest order.

***Barrit, Murray, BJ Botha are the only locals who get any game time, the rest come from Free State and other areas.

Enough for now, you'll know why I cringe whenever I see a CA number plate with that dumb sharkie sticker on the car. Love them or fear them? Surely there's a third option.

The good fetcher

So the super14 is indeed hotting up with the closest run in to the semis ever. Just the crusaders guaranteed of a play-off spot, and the canes, ‘tahs, stormers, sharks, blues and chiefs scrapping it out for the other three. There’s some wild permutations going around, and we could see the Sharks trying to leapfrog the Stormers on points difference as they are only nine behind. Luckily the comsci nerds watch rugby these days....so throw your permutations in here



Unfortunately the Stormers don’t have a chance of winning the competition, even if they do make it to the final four. That went out the window the second Schalk Burger was put on the injured list. There are still some readers of the game who pooh pooh his value to any team. Sure he’s got the worst disciplinary record ever, but most of the time its stuff that esq McCaw, Smith, Waugh et al get away with week in, week out. Maybe he has to shave his hair for the refs to stop targeting him. Maybe it’s karmic payback for that ridiculous OUTsurance stuff. He’s worth three players and the Stormers and Springboks are a different team without the Incredible Schalk (notice how the other two Schalks in the squad don’t get that title?).

There are a few things that you really don’t do if you value your existence on the planet. Like go trick or treating a warlord’s house. Stealing Ollie Le Roux’s hamburger. Telling Oprah she’s podgey.

Too bad for the gangsters who raped Schalk’s sister last week at UWC. They’re in big, big trouble, as we won’t have to wait for the Cops or the Scorpions to bring justice in due course. Schalk will hunt them down in the night and spear tackle them into mincemeat.

Might as well call Hannibal Lector’s mother a whore.

KnightRider

from the files of Michael Knight

 

In an effort to offset man's detrimental effect on the planet I rode to Steenberg last night. Being a former member of Lord Robert Baden Powell's little boys club, I went prepared. My plumber used some really strong silicone, so I left the kitchen sink in situ but little else was to chance. My 30l pack was crammed with lots of things I really didn't hope I'd be needing. If you took a look inside, you'd see a fabergé egg effect, as my 15l hydration pack was also there (it has all my bike stuff ready to go). Notable forgotten stuff? Spare tube, duct tape, whiskey.

So I rock up to the parking lot a fraction past seven fifteen nicely warmed up. Jacques and Greg are kitting up and rearing to go. We almost leave, but then double check if TimB is indeed joining the recce. The expected yesno answer is instead a maybe. He can't find his wallet. I get an instant chill down my spine, as I also left mine at home, until I realise I don't need it to ride. He's on an XTR wheelset you see, which if you read in the manual duly instructs you to pack your (now empty) wallet in with the ride. He does actually appear before we have solved any of the world's problems amidst a flurry of expletives, kid bashing and O-ring tossing. (now when Niels cried out for some new and original writing, I don't think a whole paragraph on TimB tardiness was on his hitlist, so I'll move on now).

Jacques has lost his Mojo and is feeling pap on his bike (yes he's still on a Giant, I was referring to the Austen Powers context) and it's suggested he's been overtraining and should chill out for a week or two and recharge. It's later revealed he's riding less than 5 hours a week anyway and endless theories on training, nutrition and muscle tone abound all the way to the Silvermine Gate. I've got to say that the Forest has got herself in beautiful nick right now; firm and forgiving, riding her is a pleasure. Good girl.

I field tested one of my brainwaves. Builder's Whorehouse have these dynamo self powered torches next to the till and they looked really bright and a superbly focussed. Put one on your helmet and the bob bob of riding will keep it bright? The test failed because a) they just weren't bright enough and b) they actually have two little watch batteries in them for oomph and the rechargeable output is a bit of pale squib.

On the way down my battery terminal came unstuck. I'm still working on an ideal set-up, good thing Greg waited for me to avoid the search party running around the forest. You do really need to shout STOP! when you last in line. If only I had items two and three on my forgotten list I would have sorted it much quicker.

Jacques' eyes lit up on the way down. I really like to have the extra light on your helmet to see round the corners and not just follow the handlebars. He has just a bar mounted daylighter and flies at 9.8m/s/s. Been a while since i've seen someone superman at meurants.

Grumbly tummies led us to (drumroll.........)Jack's in the village. Flatbreads were not had. That's because its in the singular, and i think i overdid the chillie a bit. If you know what I mean.

Stella was there indeed. I'm just giving our tall blonde waitress the name Stella for now. She's way better than that big boned mesomorph with the sleeveless top. Who got the bill, what's her name again?

When I pulled into the palace a fraction before midnight, there was no apparent concern from still awake flatmates. No searchparty, not even a call to Mountain Men to amber light the sniffer dog team. It appears going out riding for five hours in inclement and dark weather is not considered unusual behaviour. Must be doing something right there.

how to really irritate me

ok, this has rankled me for a while and i just want to say f#$% off to whoever started it.

 

so the modern kid has about 10 places with a username (at least). Of course they all have a password attached. Cool, so the privacy is guaranteed. But how are you supposed to remember 10 unique passwords? you don't, obviously you have the same one.

 

password crap that piss me off big time:

a)when they tell you to change your password. f@#$ you d00s, it's mine, i'll decide if it's expired or not

b)insisting on their own special rules (for the users safety). negating any chance of keeping the same password for everything.

 

here's two recent examples:

SARS efiling. secondly the password had so many special conditions, that it might as well be a random string of characters. i think i chose "2$Stripper69"

firstly, they generate a ridiculous login name for you that is so hard to remember itself (ie. joesoap1429). you have to remember that to get your password. your ID number is not really yours. Well i wrote it down somewhere, and will be phoning call centre of fun to get it back next time again.

 

virgin money internet banking:

Rules to create your Password
		1The Password is alphanumeric (comprises both letters and numbers), for example Coffee2
		2Your new Password should be 8 to 12 Characters
		3Your Password is case sensitive. For example: Coffee
		4No special characters or spacing is allowed */?-&%$#@!<>:^(.)
		5Choose a Password that is easy to remember, but that nobody else is likely to guess
		6Your own name or sequences will not be allowed, for example John1234

 

I tried a million new passwords, all of them got rejected as not following the 'rules'. of course they don't say which 'rule' it violates so you don't have a clue.

Hilariously the first three rules all have examples that violate each other.

So it looks like 5 and 6 f@#$ed me over, the only thing that i could get to work? Password1 - the example they give. tried changing it too.

 

clearly the only way to get around this is to save your passwords. which kinda negates the point of them in the first place.

 

it's the right thing to do

 

It works everytime. Especially in my varsity days in matieland, where everyone is a cheapskate due to the low price of alchohol (which just forces you to spend all your money on it).

Go to a mate's flat complex and, whilst you are waiting for them to get their ducks rowed, you just push a random button on the intercom.

Random: "Hello, who's there?"

You: "TV licence inspector, can we come up please?"…….

Random will come up with a myriad of excuses, normally along the lines of :

"we don't have a tv"

You: "well according to our records you do"

When the random is really freaking out, you throw in a:

"that's okay, someone has just opened the gate, I'm coming up to inspect"

mwha ha ha, rest assured there's a quick game of hide the TV going on in the little flat.

Ahhh, good times. Now life really has progressed, judging by what rocked up in my mailbox the other day. My name was preceded by ADMIR. For the life of me, I could not remember what ADMIR was. In a spate of good citizenship last year, I paid for a TV licence. Of the 50 or so titles, Admiral was chosen (Jedi Knight not being on the list). I'm sure it'll come to bite me sometime, but until then I'm running the ship.

Now what on earth incensed me to pay for a TV license when I don't watch the damn thing much? Well, it's the right thing to do and doesn't really break the bank to be honest. There are of course a few things worth watching these days anyway on 'free to air'.

50/50 is gone. But not without a fight. After 20+ years on the station, the longest running show was canned last month. Monday night was their final slot, and the closing season was great, with the 'best of' veldfokus over the years. Just imagine all the brilliant videos and stills in those archives…well the snapshot they showed us was awesome. Getting rid of Dali and Vusi is hardly justification for them scrapping this national treasure, but it's a start.

Jericho is gone. Gill will never be the same, but Wednesday night now has this Prison Break thing.

The LAB II. The LAB was the best ever South African produced show (including all DSTV/MNET stuff). Took them a while to bring it back and they have shifted it to Sunday night SABC3 prime at 8pm just to show how highly it's rated. Monty, Jaws and Mingus et al are all still there in this brilliant high stakes business drama set in the unique environment that is the Jozi boardroom. This is our LA Law, but with BEE issues. I missed the first episode, but will make an effort to watch the rest, it's worth it.

The Indie is gone

Wow, talk about a snippet of k@k news. The Independant Armchair Theatre in Obs has had to close. Laden with debt and being unable to conform to noise regualtions led to the plug getting pulled this week. Who could forget Corne and Twaks performing with not a square inch of available floor? Chiaroscuro's reunion show. There are plenty of good times (not to mention the Monday night pizza and a movie D*E*A*L). For me it has to be the multiple 'Jane Says' performances. Yeah Froman rocking and cocking out in a real band. Rent a crowd jumping around like they just won Lipton Cup. Going all gypsey with their Caravan and never leaving with out an encore. Matt probably recorded all those shows, must get my paws on 'em. There's no talk of a even a goodby party, as it's already been closed for a month 'due to renovations', but I can of course I have a little entertainment for your bandwidth. It's Unit.R, and the megaphone song.

broadband


dial-up

Why do you build me up, build me up?

ok, thanks all for ther frantic calls of worry, Yes i am still alive and kicking. And no i did not go to any far flung corner of the world during the holiday week either (does losing my DIRTginity count?)

BEFORE

I've been rather busy, building a double garage. For the benefit of our international viewers, that actually means i have paid a whole bunch of dudes to put some bricks and cement in a pile on a corner of my plot. All i physically do is get stuff (like cement, hoop iron and money).

There's a hole in my garden, dear Lisa, dear Lisa.
It's coming along, I almost bounced a check last week (will happens for sure this time, as I'm moving money around faster than Don Corleone). But it appears i have not beaten the winter rain. oh bad.

ooooh, is that a wall i see?

The other news is that i have a lot on the go, so much to write about but battling to get forefingers to keyboard, but hang in there. I could start with the being on a firstname basis with all the ladies at Builder's Whorehouse (love a hardware store open till 7pm), or the dramam with the bircks, or the sand, or the rubble, or the scaffold, or the windows, or the inspector, or making it too small to fit my car. but let's wait and see.

come together, ..right now!
BUTTERCUPS!

The oval ball bounces straight for us.

It is indeed a sunny day in Tshwane (petoria). The locals woke up as World and Super14 champions, had a winning team over the week-end and were comfortable in the knowledge that they couldn't lose in the week coming up. But weather is all relative and it's getting remarkably Stormier in the near future for our boys in blue over the Jukskei. They have a bye coming up, have already surrendered the S14 trophy (even the Stormers already have more points than they can mathematically get) and Dangerous Dave is joining the ranks of their tax paying/avoiding residents (the fact that my darling sister is leaving the town for good on the exact selfsame day has not gone unnoticed).

Dan's the man

The contrast was hard to ignore (these days are distant memories, WWSD-what would Steve Do?). Loftus was empty, Newlands packed. The Super 14 is getting very exciting as the Crusaders wait on who'll be joining them in the semis. There's four weeks to go and the Sharks and Waratahs are sitting in second and third with a bit of breathing space to the pack of six marauding for fourth. The length and nature of the tournament means that they're all in with a shout and there's a bit of dice throwing required to predict the make-up of the final four.

Which is exactly what we did. Here are the crunch games with some bone tossing for the results(winners in bold).

April
25 Crusaders vs Blues Christchurch 9.35am
26 Waratahs vs The Sharks Sydney 11.40am

MAY

3 Vodacom Bulls vs Waratahs Loftus Versfeld 3pm
3 Vodacom Stormers vs Brumbies Newlands Rugby Stadium 5.05pm
9 Hurricanes vs Western Force Wellington 9.35am
9 Vodacom Bulls vs Brumbies Loftus Versfeld 7.10pm
10 Vodacom Stormers vs Waratahs Newlands Rugby Stadium 7.10pm
16 Blues vs Hurricanes Auckland 9.35am
16 Western Force vs Brumbies Perth 1.05pm
17 Reds vs Waratahs Brisbane 11.40am
17 The Sharks vs Chiefs The Absa Stadium, Durban 7.10pm

The bones are clearly from the Table mountain area as they see the 'Tahs and the Sharks stumbling ever so slightly in the difficult run in with the Stormers and Cane's pulling through with mostly homeground games. Using a lovely excel sheet we can fathom a 'Saders vs 'Tahs/Canes in Christchurch and Sharks/Stormers (venue TBA) final four. That's my cock on a block, but anything can happen, except a Bulls title defence.


Whilst we're on the subject of rugby, and have got the boring talk of results/matches out the way, it's time to look at some pivots. Dan Carter is the best.
Just look at him, and you'll see why Jeannie D didn't come home the night the 'Saders played in Cape Town. The bone structure, the 'gee shucks' countryboy attitude and the fact that he's pretty darn good all makes him a top prize for any girl. But since he's currently injured we do have to look elsewhere and luckily it's not a far travel to find his worthy replacement.
they all want their hands on him



He's reserved and down to earth, pretty good with the boot and (according to our XY chromosoned sources) bloody hot too. Yes sirree, Peter Grant has it all, and if those bones are to be believed an appointment with Mr Carter come May 31st.

Pete always scores

world's biggest foam party

not what you thought. the dudes from Sony Bravia went a bit wild downtown Miami.

now imagine if they left it on at night?!

Who's got a new flag?

Hey they threw this thing up the other day. Now Blue Flag means cool beach in municipality language.

Nice

I think to celebrate we should hold a surfing beach braai where we get mortared. Bring your dogs

the figures are all skyrocketing

So all the numbers are going up. Petrol is like it's linked to some internet dating scheme. I still shudder when the joggie tunes me it's over four hundred bucks to fill up my thriteen hundred. They must be laughing, as I'm sure their tips go up proportionately.

Eskom is pushing at getting their price tariffs upped by hefty margins, bye bye cheapest tricity on the planet, tough takkies if you run a factory on slim margins (but not if you have an aluminium smelter and it's all at cost anyway).

Tito has just reminded us that he's not forgotten about us. Take that 50 basis points and find another whole in that belt of yours.

Then I stumbled on a graph for Zimflation. Wahaaa. you can see it all here, but for the record it was a staggering 585 in 2003% but due to the scale hardly it even registers a blip.

So as we might have realised not everything is going up (definitely not renumerations), and this one is a moniker of note. 5 years ago, a bottle of the tried and tested Chateau Libertas was about twenty bucks. I picked up some at a Tops the other night on special for...twenty bucks. Hmmm, somethings fishy, because you can be rest assured the price of Tassies has doubled in that same time frame

cruising parking lots to pick up chicks

You have to ask WTF is going on here?
Look at the hands
It's mulletboy XC racer boerie stander and road princess Cherisé Taylor. Now Cherisé is the Angelina Jolie of south african cycling, she pulled a silver medal at the world juniors whilst still in matric last year. She was one of the four Konica Minolta ladies, undoubtedly the hottest team to hit local tarmac EVER and got rewarded as SA female cyclist of the year for her troubles. Unfortunately MTN picked her up this year and gooied her on a Raleigh, but not even that could stop her from winning the Argus.
Go princess, go!
Well Boerie is our top rated XC lap racer from Port Shepstone. He's also a yungsta, but came 5th in the under23 section of the worlds in Scotland last year. He's off to Beijing for sure, and turned some heads already at the Epic this year racing with world champ suzie before his knee exploded on day three.

Dirty boy
Pity is, he's tappit to the core. The mullet, the gold chain and the terrible hat selections make him a little bit parow-noord for my paranoia. So we had to do some sneaking (ie. Go to his open to the public facebook profile) and it appears our worst fears are confirmed. He's bonking (off the bike) our princess. Never before has such a hottie been so quickly Federlined, I'm only consoled by his profile

Activities:cycling.cruising parking lots to pick up chicks, hangin wid peeps in the ghetto
Interests:penguins
Vrooom
His car isn't much better, definitely from the wrong side of the tracks

bikep0rn

okay, now that's out the way, lets get back to my ruminations and the original subject title.

So I'm really battling to crack it into the local adult entertainment industry. Before you go on about performance, hardware, lack of german accent etc. let me just say it is purely down to my cycling tan. No amount of self-tan lotion or coconut oil will ever neutralise that solid line on my thighs where one side is slave to the african sun and the other porcelain princess locked up in her castle. It's just as bad on the upper arms, and the hard to hide sockline. They have all sorts of experts on set, with all sorts of lighting rigmarole trying all sorts of things, yet it's all come to naught......

then at a low-point (just before i considered giving up riding to pursue this career more seriously), it hit me.

BIKE PORN

Yes, I know what you thinking, get your fixie off those fixies i showed you earlier. If those top-quality movies can all have female stars wearing their high heels, why can't we have some bib-shorts and helmet scenes? A bit of off-trail roughriding? All we really need are some good titles, the rest will come. What they normally do is take a really good blockbuster and wangle the name around:
For Your Thighs Only
Forrest Hump
Full Metal Bikini
Ghostlusters
Gonad the Barbarian
Good Will Humping

and that's just F and G, what we need are some saucy bike related titles. here's a start:
head tube
seatpost in seattle
top tube gun
the tale of nippleless wheelbuilding (does that sound like nicklaus nickleby??)
the texas chainstay redesign
cleat and present danger
XTR

Finally, another race report

Ring ring and i pick up the phone, it's ching chong jim wei on the line:
CCJW: hey dude where are you?
Sailorboysteve:F@#$ Sh11 CR@p, I'm still in bed.

Luckily our oriental friend needs me to find Lourensford, as he's unable to point his car east on the N2 and follow the cars with mountain bikes on the back. Of course I've set my alarm for the unholy hour of 5am, but the phone is so damn clever the artificial intelligence kicks in and realises i don't want to be up that early on a saturday (but I did this morning, huh?!).

The dude doing the start seeding has not read Darwin's “origins of the species” and I'm in B group 10minutes behind a whole bunch of funriders. It's not like the alphabet either, essentially B comes last here. Sweet. At least I find Tatum and some very fit looking multisporter in team jeep kit called Cass next to me as we sneak in under the candy tape. We have the usual startline chit chat...not doing much training/had the flu/just chilling out today etc etc. The gun goes and after about 500m of dirt riding that stupid race competitive instinct kicks in and it's time to start weaving through the field. Cass is quickly gone, but a good thing I'm still ahead of Tatum.

I'm expecting the long pull up to the saddle 'a la Lourendsford classic, but instead we head off towards the dams pretty soon. Then it's the usual overtake/passing right spiel. We hit this just rideable slog up some vineyard track which takes a while. At the top I realise that i'm not overtaking B group hackers anymore because chingboy is there too. Poof! there goes his 10 minute headstart like the dust cloud that emerges on every descent through the very dry terrain.

that's a loverly bike...the silverback

It's still very crowded when we hit the first wooded single track at about 10kms. There's a holdup as some senior guy has had a very bad wipe on a steep section. There's groaning and ahhing. He's got some guys helping him, but no-one knows who to call, there's no emergency contact on the number board either – nice one Epic. Of course it's been brilliantly marked the whole way with a lot of signs and candy tape, but there's not much in the way of personnel on the course. Moving on it's now soldiers rank down the clustered singletrack as the rubber necking has held the route up and patience is the order of the day. Not so for some wise guy who decides it's a good idea to overtake 10 people at a time. I have to laugh as he flies down the side, brakes, does a sideways somersault with his toeclips/cages and comes to rest.

There's some more very technical uphill slogs to follow, did Leon 'Dr Evil' Evans set this course too? I'm fine with that, you have to suffer to appreciate the 966 reasons the Epic finishers are legends, but it quickly becomes apparent there's a big gap between the 22 and the 55 routes as some people are beginning to suffer. In my prerace rush I haven't checked my qr skewer properly and the rear wheel pops out on the next downhill (i'm actually not sure how that happened, it's a new bike and i thought it was tight enough). All is fine as i stop before any damage, but the one pad (v brakes) has twisted and is rubbing. I'm about to swear when i realise my multitool is still in the car, but then Tatum swings past like an angel. A quick stop and she's got her's out for me. I promise to try catch her. It takes a while as she really does fly (see her work here ), but when I pull up to her she's running short on air in her rear wheel and doesn't have a pump on her. Rarely is karma repaid within 3kms and we're back on the go after a few good pomps (ja ja, that joke never tires). We concur that it is actually a moer of a race and we can't wait for some downhill respite. I mention that if we still are going up to the saddle then it'll be a loooong day indeed. Then we arrive at the saddle, from above?! How did that happen?!

A long section of downhill follows, and the rest is a race against the incessant throb of helicopter engine. I have to beat those damn Vredestein dudes to the finish line. There's a few sections of singletrack thrown in, where they've taken a broom and cleared a path in the pine needles. There's little 'flow' to it, and I'd hate to be rider 1199 down that section. It does get a little bit hot, but we're mostly in the forest now. For jeep track riding, it really is good terrain. There's repeatable sections of switchback road leading to hiphigh river grass every gulley and for once the contour is flat. I probably only see 2 other riders for the last 5km's (but I do pass a big truck setting up a water point about 5 mins from the end – huh?!).

the only Bulls worth shouting for

Well I time it perfectly and beat the Bulls by about 15 minutes so I'm on the grandstand for their sprint finish. Later i hear some swiss hack called Cristoph won it after his partner's knee exploded on stage three of the epic. That's funny because the online registration closed before the Epic started, and I doubt he entered both. Either way the yodeller is lucky, because if I was in A group I would have sucked his wheel dry and dropped him on the downhills (or taken the chicken run shortcut from the saddle – employed by a few I hear!).

I'm glad I did the race, it's obvious they use it as an afterthought, but you can't ride lourensford just once a year. Much respect to all the full finishers, and the dude who invented Spur rib burgers.

saddle sores, that's what 966km does to you