it had to happen

Following my incredibly successful fantasy rugby Super12 team of 2005, '15 Burgers- no fries' is no mean feat. Now despite being SA's most valuable player (according to those of us who actually understand how the game works) the Incredible Schalk is no Bobby when it comes to marketing himself.

The ridiculous hairdo and his OUTsurance profile will always be hard to emerge from, but this could be a step in the right direction. Of course there's no co-incidence in a fast-food product being backed by a dude who famously has no respect for his own body or health.

Gloria bares all

I really can't believe it. It's an absolute no-brainer like the advantages of shimano's rapid rise gear shifting(google it if you're lost). Gloria has got be the greatest relationship I've ever had. She wants for little, and gives plenty in return. Did I forget to mention that she has NEVER gone premenstrual on me? If you're still not convinced that she is the greatest girl on the planet, then i suggest you read on.

So the other day we were soaking up some rays with Cape Town's social set at Muizenberg's surfer's corner. We'd gone for a little spin on the newly revamped Supertube and I shot a 19 on the back nine of the golf course (sorry, I forget we have two, that should read the BLUE course).

Now Muizies is really coming back in flavour these days, the honeys are wall to wall and excitement is high with the impending opening of a 'Sinful' ice cream store. So we were fooling around with the volleyball net when things got a bit competitive. Now mixed doubles volleyball is all about the ability of your chick to dig and the boy to spike. Now G can dig with best and my spike might as well be a surf report, but we were playing against Neil and Kerry, who do this stuff all the time. We lost the best of five at 23's in the fifth, which is naelskraap if you know your volleyball scoring. The consequence of defeat was of course a skinny dip, and Mr McKenzie had his fancy pancy new Cybershot out in a flash to document the evidence. Gloria is quite comfy with the camera and seems to have no skaam when flashing assets.

Now I'm not the jealous type, and I'm happy with the 'look but don't touch' rules. Now some people might have problems at work viewing these pictures, as they are shall we say only with bikini bottoms on. So if you're under 18, i'm only warning you once.

Oh yeah

more of that please

that's enough now

Gloria has a Stalker

I like some of that



Well I've had some serious complements about my uber hot fiancé Gloria since this post.

So much, that it's going to be Gloria week here at team Deep South.

first up, and I hope all facebook addicts are listening up here, it's a dodgy world out there. I can't believe some people will leave some seriously personal information hanging out like dirty laundry. Just incase you think I'm paranoid, check out the totally random dude who is now totally stalking Gloria.

White Heart and Lame

Yip, not sure how he found her, but his name is Sam, he's a british yob who supports Tottenham Hotspur (a soccer club) and his local tattoo parlour.

So hot right now

Deep stuff, bru

I'm pretty sure he's a soccer hooligan and on the FIFA blacklist of known riot inciters. So we need some feedback here, does Gloria accept the friend request?

Well if that ain't a message

Those crawlies stand no chance

So there we have it, quota within an hour of the West Coast Rock Lobster season opening.

Could it be due to the local knowledge of where the large kreef are hiding, maybe the delicious combo of fresh pilchards, snoek heads and seaweed extract?

Possibly so, but we do now have the fastest kreefing boat on the Weskus now, we were at Dassen with nets in the water before most of the okes had even launched. We lost one engine on the way back with a fuel issue, but with 7 250's we looked like a floating Habana.

In from the deep

The hippie bunny huggers take another body shot as we are all excited
with the annual kreef pillage which started at sunrise this morning..

Good thing for us kreefsmokkelaars aren't as skilled as
perlemoensmokkelaars and there is a season for us to enjoy the finer
things in life. So how do you get your hands on one of these furry
monsters? There are many ways, we'll highlight the legal (but not
necessarily easiest) ones.
Buy a licence from your friendly lost office (about sixty bucks); then
get some snorkelling gear and head to cape point or find a boat with
suitable nets at kommetjie or houtbay. Hey presto! You have quota
(almost as easy as the 'roof).

Now for the fun part – steam the suckers in a thumbwidth of saltwater
for 9 minutes. They should be red like a barmy army cricket fan after
a Kallis double century by now. You might hear a high pitched
squealing noise during the process. This is not cause for alarm in any
way. Of course you threw them in the boiling water alive (they're
fresh, i hope), but they are very very definitely not screaming for
help in there. If they had capabilities of oral communication, I'm
pretty sure they would protest as soon as you took them out the water.
It's of course steam escaping from the carapace and a good sign that
your pot is hot enough.

Allow to cool (or splash with cold water), and butterfly the bad boy
to remove the pooptube. Garlic butter, whiskey mayo or even Nando's
perinnaise, the sauce is a hot topic. I always go for a second
opinion. Repeat process from second paragraph ad nauseum or easter
week-end.

Revenge of the Nerds Part VI

Wow, somehow this is the 100th post, and I can't think of a better subject to bring in such a heady milestone.



I hope Santa is still monitoring this page, I want one....turn your bog-standard X-Y scope into an analogue clock..I KNOW!

If you don't realise how mindbogglishly groundbreakingly awesome this is, well then you'll never understand, so explanations are futile. Just watch the movie series, the jocks lose everytime.

More info

Keep those Sundays free

ok, so here's another of those good reasons to be a capetonian. What an awesome line-up?...the tickets are the same story, on sale from friday morning....expect Seether to be sold out by lunchtime, and yes they are actually pretty good acousitc. check this one out:



Funny that Appletizer have dropped out after long support, but who really needs sponsors for this, it's always packed!

25 November
Vusi Mahlasela *
2 December
Old Mutual Encounter
Chris Chameleon & Neo Muyanga
9 December
Love Jones
10/11/12 December
Michael Bublé
13/14/15/16 December
Carols by Candlelight
23 December
Flat Stanley
30 December
Plush
31 December
94.5 Kfm & Drostdy-Hof New Year’s Eve Concert
Freshlyground & Dr Victor and The Rasta Rebels
JANUARY 2008
6 January
Seether *
13 January
Fokofpolisiekar
20 January
Watershed *
27 January
McCully Workshop
FEBRUARY 2008
3 February
Old Mutual Encounter
Ismaël Lô
10 February
The Parlotones *
17 February
The Rudimentals
24 February
Arno Carstens *
MARCH 2008
2 March
Old Mutual Choral Encounter
9 March
Goldfish *
16 March
Old Mutual Encounter
Karen Zoid & Selaelo Selota
23 March
Cape Philharmonic Orchestra *
30 March
The Jonny Cooper Orchestra
APRIL 2008
5 April
UCT Rag Concert
6 April
Louise Carver
Ticket Prices:
Standard ticket price R40
Concerts marked with * R50
Old Mutual Encounters R50

beware the careless whisper

The hippies really are in for a torrid time on this site. They really
had it coming to be honest.

My mexican flatmate tells me he's gonna be away for a week to ten
days. That normally means he has an epic surfari, transkei drugrun or
housesitting on his menu. This time it's a little different. He's
going on a 'retreat'. It's what guys like Billy from Green Day have to
do when they can't take rehab anymore and need to find inspiration
elsewhere. I think Hunter S. was on a permanent one. I know I'm going
to be subjected to endless stories in future about this pending week,
I fear it is going to be Pedro's "Band Camp". The real irony is that
it sounds like he's not going to be doing much.

It's on a farm somewhere near the gamadoelas, and every day is started
at 4.30am for coffee and biscuits. They then sit around till the main
meal of the day, round noon. In the afternoon they each have a half
hour one-on-one session with the main guru. Then it's off to bed after
sunset. The rules are quite simple, no talking or gesturing between
each other - ever. No phones or any other contact with outside world
allowed.

Of course once I was finished laughing (took a while) I had to ask if
I could slate him about it. His reply didn't really matter, as it's
pretty much fair game. We figured that the only legal form of self
expression left is farting, which is actually not too dissimiliar to
the crap he normally talks about.

The big wtf amongst many is that the week is free/gratis/mahala.
There's no such thing as a free lunch, even if it is lentils and boot
leather. Does anyone out there know how to check that you still have
both kidneys?

We'll have to keep an update on this one, I do hope he keeps his mouth
shut and makes the full week. That's mostly because I sublet his room
out to the Swedish bikini team on their pre season training camp.