What to do when there are no waves

Bunch of surfer dudes in Copenhagen with connections in the mining industry..I just love the way the guy lighting the thing really holds onto it for a few seconds, clearly not his first time!



oops
still trying to work this out!

Ok, I gotta credit this one to Colin becks and the whole facebook vibe. all too funny, well worth checking out if you got broadband.

Langebaan vs Laryngitis

I should be chilling on an L34 yacht with the spinnaker up in a 20 knot south easter with craig sorting out the braai for our steak roll lunch. Mykonos will not be the same this year, I hope Norman the p@#$ croupier with the third reich tash fully appreciates my absence.

Instead I am sitting at home on the oh so slow gprs connection, sweating out laryngitis since monday. I don't regret how I got it, though (you know who you are, Sexy Time!). What really sucks is how I'm going to try convert authorised paid leave into sick leave without coming across as a weasel!

Moving on, coming to the end of a cell contract I've been doing the sums with all the networks now that MNP allows you to switch so easy. (how cuck must the LG chocolate phone be??MTN will give it to you for R39pm all inclusive on mycall 100!) Looking at the vodacom site I came across something quite interesting.

all the hectic data

A few years back I had the coolest student job ever. We got to drive around the country on a R400/day expense account. We had to measure all the Vodacom base stations on schools to see if the kids were getting their brains fried. It ended up being a part township/roadtrip/casino tour with hot steaks ordered in all corners of the land. I will never ever confuse Vredendal with Vredenburg again! Anyway, needless to say, all is well and the risk to your health is infinitismly(sp?) low. I'm sure the new data won't be much different from ours.

The funniest is the people(like on 3rd degree expose) who moan about the base stations next door giving them headaches and making their skin go blue, yet they still own a cellphone. It's equivalent to the whole triple cheeseburger and large fries with a diet soda situation. The effective radiation from a phone is much higher than a base station (it's a factor of power and distance to your body). Vodacom does the study because you choose to own a phone, but base station placement is pretty much out of your control. That whole phone in pocket frying your gonads is also YOU magazine tripe..the phone only transmits when you are talking on it(if you use those ridiculous Star Trek bluetooth headsets, then that's your Darwinian bad).

Well they actually wanted me to stay on and run the show for the whole country (we did 160 school sites, there were ~6000 base stations in total). It seemed like a real ardious job, sorting out problems with field dudes all over the country the whole day. Nice to see they're using it all in the end here. Anyway, it would have been really good $$$$'s you can imagine the dosh that vodacom splash out on these projects....your 80c sms went a long way to paying for my round of golf at the Sabi Sun.

MR. MBEKI, we appear to have a crime problem

What you can see is the gap formerly occupied by my postbox! Despite not being an expert in scrap metal rates, I think the kid who pilfered it in broad daylight can expect R5-R15 for the ~500g of severely corroded brass it was. Current designs for a replacement are being looked at, with the front runner being a stainless (I love the sea air) steel cover wired up to a 150kV cattle prod.

I've been relistening to David Rattray's brilliant “Day of the Dead Moon”. What a story, what an incredible story teller. I had the honour of staying at his lodge a few years back, and going out to the sites of the Isandlwana and Rorke's Drift battles. I'll try convert the tapes to digital format, and am looking to get hold of Zulu(1964) which is an epic on Rorke's Drift with Michael Caine in the lead. If there ever was a candidate for most “Proudly South African” he was it. I don't remember ever doing the Anglo-Zulu war in school history, so if it tickles your interest, the start by reading more here:

Isandlwana
Rorke's Drift
Rattray




Kirstenbos was baie cool die ander dag. Ons het lekker gemosh en gecrowdsurf. Francois het gese dit was 'n chilled out set vir hulle, maar ek dink dit het huge gerock. Hulle het mielies oppie volume gegooi.



You heard it here first, the Peninsula half is going to be huge. Joined a 1000 other runners in the spectacular route from Bergvliet to Simonstown. I was still on the sub 90 pace till the hour mark, but the realisation that my legs wouldn't make it was only delayed by a nubile hottie in uct colours that I followed to Glencairn. I had to coast home at a much reduced pace, and Jordan even overtook me just past the trainstation in Simonstown. Final result 93 minutes, which is still a pb. Great breakfast at The Meeting Place, fun ride home on the train. Next stop 2 oceans half

Orienteering – nothing to do with O-week

For the uninformed, this is basically running around a forest looking for checkpoints. You get a map to help you find the checkpoints, and an rough indication of its situation(on a tree/ditch/rock etc.). It becomes a test of map reading, navigation and fitness.

Sound like fun? I did the first sprint race on Tuesday, which was in Bishopscourt, starting from just below The Hill pre-primary school. My map reading was a little bit off, and I don't quite know all the hieroglyphics which point out the control's situation. So I got a little bit lost, and ended up dicing with a dude who had the map-reading skills but not quite the fitness.

There is a series of five 'sprint' races every tuesday. I'm a member of WPASS (pronounced 'WHIPASS' no kidding) The WP Adventure Sports Society, so get a member's rate. They are quite negotiable and are keen to see new faces. The next one is in Wynberg Park, which I think is the one below the highway (going south up Edinburgh Drive, next offramp). Find out more details at www.penoc.org.za

The longer ones are more fun, and in better forests, but it's a good way to go for a Tuesday run.

Will you be my sweet Valentine?

Well, well Feb 14th is a lot of fun. Thanks to those of you who took an interest in co-ordinating my evening, but I chose not to outsource it in the end.

We'll be at Oblivion's Robot party (Traffic Light party just doesn't have the same ring to it, have you ever seen the 'traffic light move' on a dnacefloor?). Question is, only the desperate go in green, so is the garb orange/yellow? I was also well out of hand last time with my Heineken sarong, maybe not a good one to follow up with.

Oblivs

Just to keep your diary open, and specifically this Sunday. The deep-south crew (well me and Jordan) will be pushing the timekeepers at this year's peninsula half marathon. It goes from Bergvliet to Simonstown, what a route!With the expected north wester, a hallowed sub 90 minutes is not out of the question. Suggested place to watch is Kalk Bay, just take Boyes Drive and come on down. The whole marathon starts at 5:15 in Green point, ours is 7, so get there early. They're trying to punt this race as one of the world's signature marathons, along with New York, Berlin, Boston etc....don't see why not

Moving up a gear, and donning your khakhi, it's time the volk reclaimed Kirstenbosch. Van Riebeck's hedge is still there, and the angry young afrikaners from Matieland will be serving up the biggest mosh pit scene since the skirmish that prompted him to plant it in the first place.
BRAND SUID AFRIKA

Get your tickets early, the ossewa have been sighted coming from as far afield as Wellington for this one. Bring ice for your brannancoke

Mercury High School Disco

Went to check out this happening with the tall one. Mercury Live is quite well known as the one venue that still brings in the bands. If not then it's the place next to The Shack, or the Ferrari place.
Well theme nights rock, and there's no substitute for girls in pigtails and skirts. It's on the 2nd saturday of every month. Next one is 10th March, we'll be there.

Mercury Live Gigs

To our absolute joy, Cornerhouse is still open. It was closing down, six months ago, but who knows? Armed with the obligatory Gin&Tonic, we hit the dancefloor with aplomb until we literally only had three rand left between us. Here's a photo I took of Dopey scoring one of the Stormers cheerleaders who was there.

So long olde faithful

after 7 years off being abused on dirt all over the western cape, it's
time to move on.

Yip, my olde db is gone, sold to the highest bidder on the gumtree.
don't despair, prety soon there should be a spiffy hupgrade, once the
finance minister has done his budget.

and the real reassurance is that dad still has an identical bike in the garage

FACEBOOK

wow, just been pushed onto this today. It's gonna be a serious time magnet. Kinda like SA reunited, but without paying. So quick to register too. Some guy's gonna make $$$$. Interface is pretty cool, and you see how small the cape town social network actually is!The pic from the MET is actually plugged from K8's photo album there.

check it out
www.facebook.com
search for me, and add as a friend!

Bat Run 2007

The BAT RUN
Devil's Peak – 6hours
Maclear's via Platteklip Gorge – 4.5 hours
Lion's Head – 2.5hours

That's how Mike Lundy's Best Walks in the Cape Peninsula times these three beasts. Well the routes might not be exactly the same, but uphill is a monster no matter which way you look at it.
Silly things normally start in a bar somewhere, and I can confirm that these roots definitely are firmly entrenched in a hotel bar.

Way way back in 1897, some dutch couraged fit guy, claimed he could climb Devil's Peak, Maclears and Lion's Head all in a day, returning to the same spot. He was sitting in the Johannesburg hotel bar(off greenmarket square) and made it the next day, stopping for a pint between each leg. The Three Peaks challenge was born, and is run to this day in early November. Clearly insanity needs to be exposed more than annually, so the Bat Run was started as a similar challenge, but at night. They lopped off some of the height too, with the rendezvous point being kloof nek instead.

I heard about it last Wednesday, and decided it was a crazy, insane must-do. Saturday 7pm I was lined up, not knowing what the hell was about to unleash. I'd loaded up a fair amount of water, a few energy bars and a headlamp. In the unlikely event of a blizzard, my space blanket would keep me warm. There was a whole lot of psyching out going on in the herd, with everyone Cape Storming each other with hardcore apparel, but eventually 60 other looneys trod off with me from the parking lot in a loose huddle along Tafelberg road. I'd found a guy who said he wasn't that fit, and we thought of doing it together. Somehow we got caught up in the excitement and were 4/5 at the end of Tafelberg, 20minutes into the race. Now for some reason I managed to run/power walk the whole way up Devil's Peak, something to do with Peer Pressure. I summited in 7th, in just under an hour, and headed back down.

What goes up must come down, but Newton didn't realise that down is sometimes the killer. You go way too fast, and if you don't wipe in the gloomy halflight, then your quads and hammies soon take you out. As day turned to dusk, the headlamps started coming out. Petzl and ultra bright LEDs make my day, but you still have to concentrate like mad to ensure that every footstep is placed correctly. A tiny lapse and you're on your face or ass. I had a few closies, but nothing that took me off my feet. Arriving back at the road, I looked up to see a surreal string of lights dangling from the peak all the way along the trail. Take that Bothasig! On the way to Platteklip Gorge I let a few keen beans charge down ahead, and hit the checkpoint in 11th. The point was manned by about 10 people, and they went beserk when I came in, now ninety minutes into the challenge. Sweeties, chocolate, sarmies, cheese, fruit, powerade and anything else a sweaty athlete would desire was placed on a spread before us. I went with an orange or two and charged up.

Platteklip Gorge is the most popular route up Table Mountain, it's also the shortest and therefore steepest. The trick seems to be go as fast as possible without having to take a break. I'd follow the dudes up ahead of me, only seeing them by the headlamps on switchbacks. I did pause to look out over Devil's Peak when the moon rose above it, full and yellow – what a sight. When I eventually reached the top, I was huffing like the wolf from the fairytales. It levels off quite quickly onto a decent hard surface and Maclear's Beacon was approached at a little canter. The leaders passed me pretty soon, the first competitors I'd seen since Devil's Peak, and they were flying! The one bonus is that I actually did beat the timekeeper to the checkpoint, by about 30 seconds. Once again, conditions were perfect, hardly any wind, and the night air was beginning to cool slightly. I managed to overhaul one guy on the return, overtaking him when he wiped out! I was now sitting in 10th place, and everyone coming the other direction was telling me so! I took it really slow down Platteklip, and thankfully two dudes came flying past me halfway down. I didn't really want to end up hurting myself just to make the top 10, as I was now starting to feel REALLY tired.

I made it down to the checkpoint to see the same crowd, but just bigger cheers now. I filled up on some watermelon and my legs were just shaking uncontrollably. It was now that I was really thinking of pulling out. It had been three and a half hours of hard going, and I still had Lion's Head to do.

I stupidly even managed to miss the shortcut on Tafelberg Road, which skips the huge switchback. The hardest was going past the parking lot, and checking out my car...waiting for me. When I got to the turnoff to start Lion's Head, I decided there and then – no more RUNNING. So I walked the rest of the way, no matter who comes past! I'd gone out way to fast and was now totally gone, my race position fading like Comet McNaught. It was really cool watching the leaders from far away, as the headlamps are so visible. By now they had started down and the first three came past in rapid succession. Spare a thought for the eventual winner, he missed the record by a paltry minute. The ladders and chains all went by subconciously, and eventually I had summited to the great 360' view. There was little time to hang around, the only consolation was that I did beat the first girl to the top. She flew past me shortly thereafter. I coasted to the finish, only running when some lady asked me why the hell I was walking downhill!



I had no idea what time I was going to do, but thought sometime less than 7 hours. So in the end 5:07, just over an hour behind the leader and 16th out of 63 starters, was pretty good. Mike Lundy suggests 13 hours, during daylight. It was a really cool event, no sponsors/no prizes, entry fee goes towards padkos and donation to TMNP. Who's keen to do it next year, first full moon of Feb? It's ticked off my list, hope you enjoy it!

stats(1st, me, last)
ParticipantDevil'sPlatteklipMaclear'sPlatteklipKloof NekFinish Time
Middleton, Owen 19:58 20:23 21:21 21:56 22:08 23:05 04:05
Burnett, Steven 20:00 20:39 21:39 22:34 22:47 00:08 05:08
Westrandt, Hendrik20:26 21:44 23:23 01:03 01:30 03:48 08:48

VENSTERS 2007 - GOOD Times

8 years ago a very wet behind the ears boy arrived in Stellenbosch. He
had a great thirst for the finer things in life – good entertainment,
better wines and the best women. Things might have turned a full
circle, but that thirst remains stronger than ever.

I could never grow tired of Vensters, I see old fogeys traipsing
around the streets, and wonder how many of them have been to every
edition since they were starring eerstejaars 30 years previously. For
the uninformed, Vensters is a massive event on the RAG/Karnaval/Jool
program which is somehow linked to Maties GemeenskapsDiens. In
layman's terms it's a 20 000 person streetparty with 10+ huge outdoor
shows(big lights/sound, big stage/~300 performers). It's free and the
cops turn a blind eye to public drinking and all the other fine things
in life.

I ran out of the office faster than jack flash to hit the Baden Powell
coastal highway to the promised land, only stopping to fill up when I
had driven 30kms on empty light. Luckily my mate Genie has just
registered for his master's so first stop was to shotgun a bed for
later, a spot in the Portapool and hurl abuse at any female walking
past his digs. Pretty soon it was time to get going and see some
shows. Mad rushing was seen as cameras, shoes and the all important
mix was sorted out. I don't trust myself to mix spirits anymore on
nights like this, so loaded up the camelbak with as many beers as it
could fit.

This year's theme was rather lame, Marilyn and Merlin. We were exposed
to lots of fantasy/fairytales mixed with Hollywood stuff. The main
idea is to see as many shows as possible in the beginning, whilst you
can still function properly and remember stuff. The plan was to begin
at the bib gat and work our way north, then follow the clockwise route
around the main res block. No matter what, we were unlikely to run out
of shows to see. The other idea is to be as close to town as possible
come 11pm, when the whole population moves there for just one drink.

In some sort of order we saw(this is a test to see how much I was
concentrating):
[boys/girls – venue – theme - score(remarks)]
medics – bibgat – Wizard of Oz – 6/10 (hot blonde with great rack in the front)
farmers/lydia – neelsie – lord of the bling -3/10(stick to driving tractors)
libertas/? - walkway near dagkak – roulette/horse racing – 7/10(hot
stuff, cool story)
huis marais/? - huis muis – somewhere on the cape flats??? -
8/10(great casting/cool seats)
***INTERMISSION to remix/download some pics***
huis visser/? - huis vis - "botox brussels" - 5/10(good backdrop,
naked men/women ratio far too high - 2nd from the right in front row,
can I get your number?)
helderberg/? - tennis courts – the hof fixes marriages – 5/10 (nice
baywatch scene, but why put the hotties in the back?stupid/
stupid..plus they wouldn't allow open drinks in?huh...what?)
simon/? - simon - ??? 5/10(missed most of it, as it had a bad street
report – but score because of the magic mushroom R10 KFC rounders)
helshoogte/serruria – hellies -charlie and the chocolate factory– 7/10
(insane backdrop/good sound - but jirrah why are these guys always
such wankers?)
eendrag/HTB – one drag – one Knight in Paris – 6/10 (not bad, liked
the canned laughter, great title, ms Hilton was there)
???/Irene – Irene - ????? – 4/10(so bad I had to join the closing
scene- security was shocking)
???/Aristea – Conserve – pop idols – 7/10 (no state to judge by now,
but beergoggles do remind me of some absolute belters)

So all in all we got in 11 shows, which is pretty darn good if you
include the break to resupply on the way. A beeline was made for much
famed Bird Street, scene of many a fair thrash over the years. As
expected town was going off it's tits. Judging by the queues in the
square, it appeared we had already missed the gap. No self respecting
senior queues in his kingdom, so why should we 4 years down the line?
Thus it was time to dominate a bench in Dros and watch the pretty
world go by with a few draughts for company. Despite the fact that we
were drinking out of 500ml glasses, some entrepreneur still tried to
sell us a home made strawnado device for twenty bucks. It'll allow you
to down a beer in a handi glass ridiculously quick, and even came with
a cheapo Karnaval/drink responsibly sticker. Needless to say two were
snappily acquired, as innovation is always rewarded.

Two young bokkies kept us in stitches with their ridiculous inability
to decide which of our group were brothers. Later a bouncer emerged
from the shadows of a tree, complaining that we were invading privacy
by taking so many covert photos(I was seriously pushing the envelope
of decency). Apparently two girls had complained, and the album has
been thoroughly searched to find the guilty parties, but it's really
hard to capture a frown when the whole frame is filled with a pert
ass.

Eventually it was time to hit a dancefloor somewhere, anywhere. The
queue at Tollies was past Mexican Kitchen looking at half an hour.
Following the whole 'refuse to queue' policy, I went up to the doorman
and inquired if he'd ever heard of the dude who fell off the balcony
years back? He nodded and said I was in immediately. Inside it was
packed, people full of party. For some reason we started drinking
quarts, good recipe for madness. Much camera work done when a whole
troop of beauts jumped onto the stage. Proof that matieland is indeed
possibly still stuck in 1972 timewarp was found during Bok van Blerk's
'De La Rey', every modern day afrikaner's call to arms that makes Die
Stem sound like a Transkei nursery rhyme.

Well details start going sketchy; but eventually time was getting
late, stomaches needed pies and I needed to be at work in less than 6
hours time. If that's not a sign to move to Springboks, then I don't
know what is. Bizarrely, old man Harris is still running the show
there, so I managed to skip the queue again. Inside it was carnage,
party animals were running around at full tilt, the dance floor was
reminiscent of the maties rugby change room. I sought refuge in the
comfortable atmosphere of the Rhodesian Arms and a Guinness somehow on
the house. Then it was up to some serious moves on the dancefloor,
leaving only to refuel or to shake down the pole.

All in all it was another great night out, an absolute don't miss.
Three hours sleep, a cruddy McBreakfast, a drive to work and 8 hours
behind a computer - still well worth it.

Same time, same place,
next year, bring more beer.

THE J&B METropolitan

yip that's K8!


anyone got anything to report?We were trackside, and in full form. Not
much made at the tote, blame must squarely sit on Dave's 9am White
Russians and my inability to get any decent tips off the techies at
the manufacturing floor at work.

Oh yeah, FLat Stanley was cool too.

I need photo's people, my agent tells me i was posing for plenty.

Langebaan Downwind Dash/floatathlon

another exclusive paid for by my lazy job
**********************************************
The hackers hack the Downwind dash – 15 January 2007
The cream of Zeekoevlei’s windsurfing elite made a bold appearance at the 26th Downind Dash, held at Langebaan on the 13th of January 2007. A motley crew of streetfighters included:
Steven “B1tsh” Rhodes
Dave “Dave dog” Waiting
Geofferson “Dingle” Rhodes
Craig “Rockspider” Sterling
Oliver “Pedro” Fuchs
Steven “Cool Steve” Burnett
Dopey “Dopey” Dopey
Robert “Bob” Gardner



Nicknames aside, we rocked up with a very spiffy trailer with the coolest boards on top to show off, doing our best to psyche out the competition in the parking lot. Tough job when they’re mostly speaking foreign languages, pulling out matching their ’07 kit and Red Bull stickers all over the sails. We brought along a few blondes to try distract them, pity they made a beeline for Pearlies and got stuck into the pizza menu before we could do any real damage.



The conditions were very very extremely touch and go. The race is run in a minimum of 15kts, and we were sitting on about 18. The expected lull in Saldanha would play a crucial part in the final position, and proved to be our Alp D’Huez. We’d left it all a little late, despite coming up the west coast a day early, and no-one really got a decent test run in before the start. The pre-race vibe was a mix of anticipation and nerves. The overall entry was 144 with about 50 boards, 80 kites and a few Hobies thrown in the mix. Nevermind the boards all lined up and jockeying for position, seeing 80+ string puppets lined up as far as the eyes could see was quite spectacular.



The hooter went and a mad dash to get up and going ensued. The best start actually seemed to be from Cool Steve, who had ended up in the kite section, and got flying away with no wind shadow around. Everyone seemed to make it to the first mark no problems, but not really troubling the leaders. Once planing, conditions were alright, but it seemed a seriously problem getting through the lulls and going low enough to make the second mark in a single broad reach. Soon after the Club Mykonos mark, the rot set in. With barely enough horsepower to continue, our heroes were seen languishing in the sea waiting for the all important gusts to get going again. Maybe the 7.4m2 in the parking lot wasn’t such a bad idea after all.


Within the race within a race, positions were changing and at the Iron Ore Jetty it seemed unofficially to be B1tsh, Dopey, Dave, Cool Steve, Craig, Dingle, Pedro and Bob(who had gone back to his oppie days and left it a tad late and not actually started on time). From there on it was a monumental task reaching the next mark, which was almost dead downwind and the wind had left like Jen after uncovering Brangelina. All the kites that had been superbly dodged and dismissed were now bobbing past. It is a lie that the winner did the course in 23mins, David Copperfield must have been involved. Eventually it picked up again, and everyone managed to sneak home(well almost) for our all important scoreboard:
B1tsh (took almost an hour, and is still moaning)
Dave Dog(the tortoise can win the race, he only had a 5.0, but on the XANTOS! managed to keep going)
Craig/Pedro(expletives were heard in a mixture of rock and Deutsch, they came screaming in at the end together once the wind had returned. Both would have killed for more volume)
Cool Steve(managed to hold off the previous two gurus for a while, but forgot the all important process of finishing-probably finished the race in stone last, but finished)



Rescued:
Dopey(was apparently doing OKish, but threw in the towel and hooked up a rescue near the jetty-he gets paid to sail, so wasn’t wasting his time and rep on a sh1tty result)
Bob(sitting in his 4.9 with a lil’ board, got scooped up in a fishing net along the way)

DSQ:
Dingle(only did 2 of the four marks-and even tried to maintain his innocence by claiming to have done the same distance. Despite a long history in dinghies, he doesn’t understand the pulling string tight theory and went the wrong way around the Mykonos keelboat amidst protests from the bridge. Don’t ask him about the Trimaran mark either!)

The fun crowd made their way back for a low-key prizegiving including free snoek and free hunters, the Casino emptied some wallets on the way home too. It’s probably the first time I’ve remembered leaving the Mykonos bar.

All in all, fun of sorts was had by all. We’ll be back…… if there’s wind!

more pics, more folders at
http://picasaweb.google.com/dwaiting

le totalsports report

I've had this on my pc for a while, time to send it out to cyberspace!

***********************************************************

Road bike?
Check!
Mountain bike?
Check!
K1 canoe?
Check!
Surfski?
Check!
Running Shoes?
Check!
Speedo and goggles?
Check!
Two support vehicles, with necessary crew?
Check!
1 imbecile, intent on dragging all this paraphernalia round the course for almost 10 hours?
CHECK!



Well it started as a bit of a bar bet and turned into a more of a mission. The Totalsports Challenge is red letter day on the fit mad idiot’s calendar. The first Saturday of every year sees a procession from Gordon’s bay to Kleinmond by way of a:
12km surfski in Gordon’s Bay
1.5km swim in Gordon’s Bay
50km road ride to Kleinmond
13km road run to Arabella
12km lagoon paddle on Botrivier vlei
25km mountain bike up the Highlands Road, looping back to Kleinmond
9km beach run ‘out and back’
It can be done in 7 person teams, triples, pairs and insane singles. Trips and pairs divide the legs up, and do the beach together. Always keen for a challenge (and short on friends) went in for the long haul on my own. The individual course record was just over 7 hours, I was happy to finish in anything under 10. Over two months I did my best to get in enough time in training for cycling, running and paddling. I’d squeeze in a cycle or run before work 2/3 times a week, most afternoons there’d be a run or a paddle. Living in Muizenberg means I had to:
drag myself to Cape Point on the road bike
run to Fishhoek along the sea by way of the boardwalk
a jog along Sunrise beach (Baywatch style)
paddle round Marina Da Gama
cart the mountain bike up and down Tokai Forest
Not exactly the gym of death, an absolute privilege to train in. I decided not to worry about the swimming, should only take half an hour and to forfeit other disciplines to gain five minutes didn’t really seem necessary. Also to cash in on the whole cross training vibe, I spent some time wavesailing, longboarding and even did Table Bay sailing week in the lead up to the event. The other big speedbump on the road to Men’s Health cover photo fitness was the whole Christmas holiday period. It got really hard to train when on holiday and lots of yummy food and drinking was all around! I kicked myself out of bed for the Tokai Manor House Classic at 7am on Boxing Day. 16km UP tokai forest in the rain, good training and enough to put you off turkey for life!

The registration was held the Thursday before the event at the hotel in Gordon’s Bay. The classic thing was that in the adjoining room was a Weigh-Less group meeting! Not knowing a soul, I had a lot of fun telling people that I was doing the whole thing when they asked me which leg I was doing. I got some really odd looks, and a few people questioning the amount of training gone in!
They recommend two support vehicles, and getting the canoe to Arabella about three hours before I’d need it. It’s possible to do it with only one, but quite a mission. Luckily I had my parents running around in the station wagon and Team Canada in my bakkie to help out. The basic split was the canoes with Renee (out traveling from Canada: www.getjealous.com/Reneeontheroad) and Jordan (one of my flatmates, from Montreal and working with Zackie at the TAC) and the bikes with the folks. It was quite a logistical exercise, mentally planning ahead on each leg for requirements both equipment and nutritionally. It all went off without a hitch, but I didn’t get to bed nearly as early as I wished the night before the race.
We got up at 4am and headed out to Gordon’s Bay in the dark, a beautiful windless day (hopefully) threatening to dawn. My strategy was to finish by pacing myself slowly enough so that I could give it stick if I was still feeling fresh on the mountain bike and beach run legs. NB! NB! – don’t try race the fast dudes when they overtake you, some of them are only doing a single leg. The male ego is a terrible thing, really.
I only picked up my borrowed surfski the day before, thinking that K1 training would be enough, and if the conditions were dodgy they would cancel the leg. Good call, settled into a nice rhythm once all the whitewater had dissipated and the super hotshots had disappeared into the distance. It was of course my first ever surfski race, and how far exactly is a 12km paddle? The route was 2 legs around a buoy 3km away, going past the yacht club/bikini beach. It was great turning around the mark and seeing some struggling dudes still behind me. I was feeling quite good at the halfway and picked up the pace a little, confident that I could hold it. Got a serious cramp after about an hour, and did my best not too think about it on the final lead in. Of course the swimmers were already in the water, and I could hear on the commentary that Natalie Du Toit had already done the first lap of the swim as I came in.

It was really nice to just dump all my stuff, and get handed a swimcap and goggles. I joined the mayhem in the water and took it really slow, just trying to get into a rhythm. It was quite hard navigating in the murky water, as it was hard to follow other people and the buoys were really small and were a similar yellow to the supplied swimcaps. I had a lot of people overtaking me, and could tell in the second lap that things were getting a lot quieter around me.
I had reckoned on a 30min swim (as I did the Fishhoek mile in about that time), but actually did it in about 38. The bar talk at the finish was that the swim course was a little bit longer than the expected 1.5km.
I got into my cycling kit, shoved some food down and then unfairly shouted at my parents who had given me only one water bottle for a 50km ride! I’d see them along the route for a resupply (just like the pros). The ride to Kleinmond goes along the Rooi Els Road, which was done many times in varsity days. It’s Cape Town’s other Chapman’s Peak and is definitely worth a drive. Due to the shortage of stopping points on the drive, the seconding teams could only support from the top of Rooi Els hill, 20km into the course. Luckily I picked up two guys on the way who were going at a fast enough pace for me to hang on and gain, but not too fast to tire me out. They were both quite happy for me to do none of the work, given my individual status. The leg flew by; hardly even noticed Betty’s Bay and managed to pull into the transition with an average speed of 32km/h. This was quite handy to stay in the race, as I had missed a lot of the big groups by hanging back in the swim.
The changeover was at the entrance to Kleinmond, another rushed switch to running kit (I really don’t know how the girls do it in the open!). It’s quite common to feel really wobbly on your legs when you change from bikes to running. This was no exception, and I had to warm up slowly before picking up the speed again. Once through the town, the route went through the finish area and then onto the main road to Arabella. It was a very good sign that none of the teams had finished yet. Once onto the road I noticed the kilometer posts, and took a time check. I’d planned to do a comfortable pace of roughly 5min/km, and gulped when I ate up the next km at 4:15. Obviously the excitement was getting to me, time to pull back the throttle again. I overtook a guy I recognized from my class at varsity just before the end; don’t want to have any engineering nerds beating me I thought! A serious amount of grey cloud was building on the seaside of the vlei. The weather prediction was for a bit of inclement weather and wind in the afternoon. I didn’t want to do the canoe paddle in a storm, so hurried as much as possible. Apparently I was catching Bruce Fordyce, but can’t confirm it!
The canoe option is to take a surfski if it’s too rough and oceanlike (or if you don’t have a K1), but there’s a lot of weed in the vlei, so your rudder collects a lekker drogue anchor if you’re not careful. It didn’t look too bad from the shore, and the surfski was still on the roof, so I went with the K1. I’ve been in some pretty rough wind on Sandvlei without ever swamping, and thought I could handle it without a splash cover. Silly me! Once round the first buoy we headed into the wind. After the second person told me I wouldn’t make it (I recognized her as one of the hardcore paddlers that’s always on the vlei), I went in and borrowed one from the first dude I could ask. Not bad for a stubborn mule like myself. I think he was one of the hotshot paddlers, and I almost ran off with his car keys in the dry pocket too! Needless to say, it only cost me 10 minutes, and I was pleasantly happy to hear the overall winner almost sank without one, but luckily found a sandbank to empty out on. The paddle itself was a real grind; I overtook a few hackers, but similarly got passed with effortless grace by some others. There were a few rescue boats on the water, a few of them helping out sinking K1’s. By the time we got to the turnaround mark, one of the rescue boats had actually capsized – on the mark of all places! I just looked at the guy next to me and laughed as we rounded five boats, all puzzled as to how they were going to right this speedboat. Downwind was a charm, but it’s always a little hairy when your bow digs into the preceding wave and stays there!
I came into the transition in pouring rain, all the seconds were huddled in a gazebo. My crowd were all together now that we’re on the penultimate stage, and had my bike ready for action. Wait stop, eat more, bite of a muffin, try swallow, banana, try swallow, sweets, swallow. Wait, I can carry this stuff and chow on the way, lets get going! We were actually at the water section of Le Grande Arrabella Hotel, I hadn’t noticed. The bike route follows the Highlands road, which goes all the way to Elgin and the N2. In other words-it’s a gravel Sir Lowry’s Pass. There was a short road section where I swapped drafting duty with an individual girl (damnit two beating me now!). She dropped me like a sack of potatoes on the first section of the 6km climb, but that’s okay cause I later found out who it was – Hanlie Booyens, one of the top female mtb riders in the country. The snazzy bike had put me off. Anyway, it rained and rained up the valley, I just stuck my old faithful in an easy gear and kept on plugging away. The poor dude manning the water point at the peak must have had enough, cold and tired, who was stopping for water in this weather (they had serious problems with dehydration in 30’C heat last year)? Somewhere on the first major descent I realized there was something seriously wrong with my brakes. No matter how I adjusted them from the handle bar, they just did not bite. I took the setting the whole way with no luck. On closer inspection, I had actually worn the back pads down with all the mud and grime; the disc brake on the front has been dodgy for a while. Maybe these things shouldn’t last six years?! I had been unable to slow down, saw it was getting steeper and did the only logical option – head off the track and aim for the biggest, fluffiest bush. Steep downhills would now be walked/ridden down astride the bike with one foot in the pedal, the other for brakes. I eventually stopped at the next support vehicle and with the help of another hand and a Leatherman, we flipped the brake pads and I now had a way to slow down. Unfortunately it was close to the end, but had a seriously steep concrete section which would have been quite interesting.
Coming in from the MTB leg, you are actually at the finish. How’s that for motivation to pull out (in front of the massage tent)? All that remained was the little issue of a 9km beach run. Kleinmond beach is not a happy place. The big debate was to go for shoes or barefoot. Take shoes and you can always carry them if the going gets too soft and tough. It is perilously steep at the waters edge and marshmallow soft on the flat dry bit. The waves come, go, do twirly whirly’s and everything else unpredictable. I alternated between the tyre tracks made by the quad bikes that must have set up the halfway point and the wetter sand near the water. It’s the lesser of two evils and very hard to pick. The shoes/barefoot debate was also hard to choose, so I stuck with mine on. After trying to evade the 10th onrushing wave (by running up the beach), I eventually got my feet wet. It felt like being shackled for the next ten steps. Luckily I seemed to be handling the stage better than other people, and was constantly overtaking groups. There was a fair amount of walking going on from some sorry looking faces, triples were even resorting to towing partners with kelp! Just before the turn around I passed the dude from class, I timed the gap at 2:30, and set about catching him on the way in. Time checks were taken at each piece of recognizable kelp/sand on the way. I caught him within 8 minutes, and did my best not to look back for the rest of the way. It was so important to get your mind off the conditions – walking is too easy, I’d definitely take my ipod with me next time. The final point was a large blow-up Powerade banner. Once it was recognizable, the realization set in that it was almost over. The vibe at the finish was really cool, your name comes over the PA system, lots of cheering..my seconds even handed me a towel as if I had just got a gold medal in the comrades. Quite satisfying to finish, my legs were pretty tired from the last leg, and I still haven’t looked at the state of the mountain bike from the ride. Got stuck into a pizza and tried to replace lost liquids by rotating powerades with windhoeks.
Great event, pretty well organized (I think, ask the seconds), who’s in for next year?
Here are the official stats:
Legs, including transitions:
Surfski 1:16
Swim 44
Ride 1:28
Run 0:58
Paddle 1:08
MTB 1:56
Beach 1:01
Total 8:31
13/34 individuals
The winners:
1st team: 5:23
1st pair: 5:58
1st trip: 6:11
1st Ind: 6:36
1st lady: 7:47
There were a few more photo’s, but Jordan’s camera got redistributed before he could download them (welcome to sunny SA)
Event info:
http://www.newbalance.co.za/ (check out the Xterra stuff whilst you’re there – April in Grabouw)