The good fetcher

So the super14 is indeed hotting up with the closest run in to the semis ever. Just the crusaders guaranteed of a play-off spot, and the canes, ‘tahs, stormers, sharks, blues and chiefs scrapping it out for the other three. There’s some wild permutations going around, and we could see the Sharks trying to leapfrog the Stormers on points difference as they are only nine behind. Luckily the comsci nerds watch rugby these days....so throw your permutations in here



Unfortunately the Stormers don’t have a chance of winning the competition, even if they do make it to the final four. That went out the window the second Schalk Burger was put on the injured list. There are still some readers of the game who pooh pooh his value to any team. Sure he’s got the worst disciplinary record ever, but most of the time its stuff that esq McCaw, Smith, Waugh et al get away with week in, week out. Maybe he has to shave his hair for the refs to stop targeting him. Maybe it’s karmic payback for that ridiculous OUTsurance stuff. He’s worth three players and the Stormers and Springboks are a different team without the Incredible Schalk (notice how the other two Schalks in the squad don’t get that title?).

There are a few things that you really don’t do if you value your existence on the planet. Like go trick or treating a warlord’s house. Stealing Ollie Le Roux’s hamburger. Telling Oprah she’s podgey.

Too bad for the gangsters who raped Schalk’s sister last week at UWC. They’re in big, big trouble, as we won’t have to wait for the Cops or the Scorpions to bring justice in due course. Schalk will hunt them down in the night and spear tackle them into mincemeat.

Might as well call Hannibal Lector’s mother a whore.