In from the deep

The hippie bunny huggers take another body shot as we are all excited
with the annual kreef pillage which started at sunrise this morning..

Good thing for us kreefsmokkelaars aren't as skilled as
perlemoensmokkelaars and there is a season for us to enjoy the finer
things in life. So how do you get your hands on one of these furry
monsters? There are many ways, we'll highlight the legal (but not
necessarily easiest) ones.
Buy a licence from your friendly lost office (about sixty bucks); then
get some snorkelling gear and head to cape point or find a boat with
suitable nets at kommetjie or houtbay. Hey presto! You have quota
(almost as easy as the 'roof).

Now for the fun part – steam the suckers in a thumbwidth of saltwater
for 9 minutes. They should be red like a barmy army cricket fan after
a Kallis double century by now. You might hear a high pitched
squealing noise during the process. This is not cause for alarm in any
way. Of course you threw them in the boiling water alive (they're
fresh, i hope), but they are very very definitely not screaming for
help in there. If they had capabilities of oral communication, I'm
pretty sure they would protest as soon as you took them out the water.
It's of course steam escaping from the carapace and a good sign that
your pot is hot enough.

Allow to cool (or splash with cold water), and butterfly the bad boy
to remove the pooptube. Garlic butter, whiskey mayo or even Nando's
perinnaise, the sauce is a hot topic. I always go for a second
opinion. Repeat process from second paragraph ad nauseum or easter
week-end.