In Zuma we trust

Before you laugh/cry and Alt + F4 in disgust, I'd like to point out that we're referring to Sibusizo Zuma here (no relation to JZ). He's the peroxided striker that could be key to us gaining anything from Ghana. The bi-ennial (that's every two years, you uneducated filth) Africa's Cup of Nations kicked off on Sunday in Ghana, and our boys need all the help they can get. The other thing that happens every two years is everyone asking for the damn tournament to be held in the off-season, but the CAF boys like to piss the rest of the rich world off.

There's a Zulu on the p-spot

To put it mildly, we're up against it. Recent results have not been good, we've slid down to 78 on the rankings and our only player who comes close to world class is not even there. Benni McCarthy makes Herschelle look as dependable as a pop-up toaster. When he's good he's amazing, but he's just so good at hitting low points. Parreira raised the eyebrows by not picking him, but then Mark Hughes did the same at club level to show how kak last year's second highest goalscorer in the premiership is really playing.

So we're in group D – FIFA has us as the lowest ranked team, but lets have a look see at what's going on:
Match 1, Wed 23 vs Angola, 9:30pm SA time.
One would think that after blowing them to pieces during the 80's we'd steamroll our northern buddies. They impressed the sceptics in Germany 2006, we weren't even there. If we don't at least come away with a point here, you can say bye bye Ghana, and maybe even Adios Carlos Alberta.

Match 2, Sun 27 vs Tunisia, 9:30pm SA time.
They've won it in recent times and are always good at club level. If we play well, it could be a close game.

Match 3, Thurs 31 vs Senegal, 7pm SA time.
Anyone who remembers Japan/Korea 2002 world cup knows that they're no lightweights. If we still have a chance by this stage then this could be a thriller. It might even distract me from Vensters.

From then it's two steps to the cup. Wildly pointing a finger at the Eto'o Cameroon or holders Egypt Semi and a Drogba Ivory Coast or a Essien Ghana final, but this is Africa and the unexpected is always expected.

bafana bafana

Games should be on SABC1, audible commentary on Radio2000. There's normally about a 3 second latency, so if we score on the radio switch immediately to TV audio for the LADUUUUUUUUUUUUMA! All assuming you've checked the load shedding schedule first.

One could be accused of being mildly unpatriotric, but a realist will always point to the bad form that's dogged a wildly unexciting tenure for our million dollar Brazilian. If he can get captain Mokoena to hold it steady at the back, then our star playmaker Steven Pienaar could supply the bullets to Zuma's machine gun. Umshini Wam!

now you can laugh/cry and Alt + F4 in disgust