My blood are green #2

one of the best things about having select readership is that I can totally plagiarize other peoples stuff wihtout getting into trouble!

 

England doesn't deserve to win the Rugby World Cup because it is, in fact, a crap country. Its population comprises of a bunch of poms with skew teeth; a wrinkly old queen housing a really stupid accent, and who presumably smells like mothballs; and skin white enough to make Omo proud. The remaining 90% of its population is Pakistani and Chinese (whose native countries can't even play rugby, probably because they're also crap).

"England" is such a ridiculously dumb name; I mean, it doesn't even provide a hint as to where on the planet it might potentially be located. At least with "South Africa", you're provided with a head start. (Unless, of course, you're American; in which case, you'll understandably need a few more clues.)

Unlike England's rugby team, which is more commonly known as "England", our country's rugby team has a damn cool alias: "the Springboks". It has pride; it has balls; and most importantly, it doesn't sound gay. Note that the "British Lions" is something different. Which, by the way, is additional evidence that they're a shitty nation, since the best the limeys can do is to include an African animal in their pseudonym. I suspect it's directly a result of "British Colonials" or "British Queens" sounding about as domineering as Thabo Mbeki's stance on Zimbabwe.

Furthermore, Johnny Wilkinson (who never smiles, possibly due to his skew teeth) always looks like he needs to fart, before he kicks a penalty. That, and he resembles Heath Ledger. (Who is Australian because his English forefathers were imprisoned there. Hence Australia being unbelievably kak at rugby.)

Finally, we have biltong. They have peanuts and raisins. (The latter being for the more daring mavericks).