Will in heavy trainingAlways the dark horses, we take a trip to the middle of Grassy Park to visit the cheapest yacht club bar in the country and hopefully find out what makes UCTYC a team to watch out for in this year’s Lipton with a pinch of salt. The entire team is assembled on the grass for crew training; oddly enough not a single dinghy is even out of the shed, let alone rigged or sailing (and their L26 is still on its cradle in the docks). Taking time out from training, skipper Big Willy and manager Dave Waiting give me their thoughts on impending rockstardom.
Deep South Diaries: So Big Willy, you’re driving this year for the first time?
Dave Waiting: I think you will have to take a funnel from the Diggler before I let him answer that. [pause as a well-travelled dildo is charged with the nations finest, and duly dispatched by our reporter, ever keen to get the big scoop]
Big Willy: Yes, I’ve come a long way since the heady days of jumping around Greenlight for the Silver Fox Hudson.
DW: Pity you’ll only see him on the startline as you have a bunch of palookas on board!
DSD: Yes, tell us about your team a little, how do you take 20 000 students and whittle it down to a team of 6?
BW: We’re the new generation of UCT sailors that have come up through the recent years, all done a bit of racing, but no rockstars on board.
DW: We’ve gone for the aesthetic look this year, the results might not look pretty but we’ll still turn some heads.
DSD: Fair enough, sponsors want exposure – but how did Hobson make the team then?
DW: He got in on a technicality, we ran a funnel club last season and that’s how Steven Rhodes made it too actually. It’s proving a worthwhile training tool, measuring progress over an entire season.
BW: The Namibian guy is also there due to us getting a grant from varsity for him being international. It’s not much, but should cover our binge drinking costs for the regatta.
DSD: Good to see you have some representation from the fairer sex aboard?
BW: Ja, that’s more bogus quota stuff. They’re basically there too make sarmies and flash other crews when we need to pass. I’m a bit concerned they won’t stick to the gameplan.
DW: but they are getting better at peeing from the stern guardrail now!
BW: Very good point! There’s nothing worse than a moaning chick with a full bladder when you’re trying to pick a shift.
DSD: Team Maverick have ruffled a few feathers in the past, what’s the objectives this year?
BW: I just want to bunk a week of tuts and defer the tests I haven’t studied at all for. Give us a top ten overall and maybe a podium in one of the races.
DW: If we beat the maties and the schoolkids then my work is done, but this year’s crew really are a recipe for disaster. To think that sh1t steve is probably the most reliable! If Hobson scores a Lipton promo girl, then it would justify the whole program.
DSD: Dare to pick a winner?
DW: I think Saddles will take it back to Durbs, but only if the Orion bar tab is bigger than our sail budget.
BW: I like the look of Dave Rae’s vaalie boat, August is not really cape weather.
DSD: Thanks guys and good luck.
DW: Not so fast wise guy, take this [the rest of the team load the diggler with a concoction of hunters, castle, homebrew, cape to ten rand and vlei water; summarily dismissed to the sound of a marching song.]
ever dependable waiting, what a beast
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