The Deep South Diaries

The diaries are sold!

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:13:00 +0000

Ardent fans will have noticed that things have been quiet here recently. We can put all minds at rest, the office did not sink under the cape winter storm surge. We do sometimes run a mobile office, so yes it can be located upstairs at the Bell, or downstairs at Polana (more on that later).

Anyways, we have been in Switzerland doing some press doomsday avoiudance work for Fritz Sonnentsberg, head of CERN. As you might be aware, they are finally pushing the big green button on the LHC. Someone needs to control the hippies and bible bashers.

The big news out of the trip is that we had a meeting with Sheik Al Bhandi, owner of ZAIN telecoms. The Deep South Diaries have been sold to his company as they prepare to roll out their attack on MTN. The figure can not be confirmed as its still being rubber stamped in sand land, but I can vouch that its more than Kirsty Coventry gets from Bob.

They have big plans for the site, and hope to use it as a vehicle for their False Bay camel racing series. Sounds like a blast. Unfortunately due to restraint of trade we can only report on rock music, hippies and parties. Never fear, keep an eye out here and you'll see what's coming next from the team.

ps. thirsty capetonians are in for some confusing drinking down south this summer. is it the polana in kalk bay, or the paulaner in kalk bay?phonetically iDENTical, but world's apart. the new Brauhaus is due a visit soon.

world's greatest bike thief...caught!

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:50:00 +0000

dunno how no-one noticed
***************

Canadian police have caught the man believed to be the world's most prolific bike thief, after they recovered 2,865 stolen bicycles from the owner of a Toronto bike shop.

Ever since Igor Kenk was arrested last month, some 15,000 Torontonians have visited the police station garage where his swag was taken, hoping to pick out their own bikes among the vast collection. A surprisingly large number of them have been lucky: Toronto police told the Guardian yesterday that so far about 500 people had been reunited with their bicycles.

Kenk, 49, who owned a crammed shop called the Bicycle Clinic, is currently out on CAN$275,000 bail (£142,000), awaiting trial in September on 58 charges of theft, attempted theft, possession of stolen goods and possession of burglary tools.

Kenk was arrested on July 18, when Toronto police, noticing that bike theft had spiked sharply in June, planted bicycles on the streets and watched to see who stole them. As plain clothes officers hid in wait, Kenk and another man walked past. Kenk seemed to tell his companion to cut the locks on two bikes, which he did, before the pair attempted to pedal away.

When police raided the Bicycle Clinic, the shop was so jam-packed that the fire service had to remove the upper-floor windows and lower the bikes out by rope. Later, 200 more bikes were seized in Kenk's home, along with large quantities of drugs, in a smart neighbourhood in Toronto. Ten landlords around the city also reported that they had rented garages to Kenk, which were chock-full of bikes.

Though Kenk's motive is currently unclear, the New York Times reported that police believe he may have been playing the commodities markets, waiting for another spike in metal prices before melting down the bicycles.

Gremlins

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 06:41:00 +0000

we had a hacker of sorts. some security measures went on the blink.

but lots of odd things happened, even Dave's 'THE SYSTEM' went on the blink at Grandwest. Maybe it only works up the west coast?

meanwhile things are happening on the water with the annual tea baron streetfight:

lipton cup

official spoof site

phelps vs cavic - update

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:26:00 +0000

so it turns out Cavic never protested, it was his swimming union. and like a bunch of fools they only showed half the evidence. from the rest it appears that phelps just got there amazingly!

of course there are like a 100 videos of it already, this one is actually more like a powerpoint so shouldn't get pulled:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGyUD4W9VjI

this one should stay, it's already been rickrolled

go look google rickrolling if you don't know about it!

and in the greatest olympic moment, i bring you eric the eel

Silver and Gold

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 06:58:00 +0000

good people around the world would know that as Track 8 on U2's 1988 album, Rattle and Hum. it was an anti apartheid song,but for two weeks in august every four years it means something else.

So the phelpster won 8 golds. he got frikken lucky with #2, where Jason Lezak overhauled a massive deficit on a top 100m swimmer, alain bernard on the final lap.

then the seventh one, phelpster pulled back another lead to win the 100m butterfly by 1 hundredth of a second.

or did he?
pictures tell a thousand words.

so is this another did they really land on the moon conspiracy?fishy thing is Phelps is sponsored by the official timkeepers Omega

more here www.001ofasecond.com
and from Cavic himself

my blood are green

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 09:02:00 +0000

you might not have noticed it, but we lost the trinations last week-end. Yes we were playing 'los pumas' who aren't in the competition, yet.

The problem is this - schedule of three consecutive matches:
NZ 0
Aus 1
Sa 2

then our greedy bonehead administrators go and throw in another match so we now play 4 in a row. fools, we're world champs despite them.

Anyway, the big crunch game is really this week-end, we normally have the hold on oz over here. If you haven't got your tickets, good luck. My bet would be to go here:
http://www.zafanzone.co.za/101.html

of course that's an artists impression, as its a construction site right now.

Ramble scouting #1

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:26:00 +0000

so it's back on the menu:http://muizies.blogspot.com/2007/09/looong-week-end-ahead.html

the Backgarden Ramble 2008, with a extension to five days. book 20/21 september. details to follow

did some recce on the route yesterday, what a fine fine time it was.

Beijing #1

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:43:00 +0000

So the opening ceremony gets going today and then its sports madness for two weeks.

It's always interesting looking at the make-up of our squad, due to all the politics that go with it.

So lets talk about the biggest joke i can see.

Amateur boxing, probably the third biggest sport in the country after soccer and athletics.

Jackson Chauke (51kg Flyweight) - Profile | Schedule

1 dude. I reckon boxing south africa must be a bunch of incompetent buffoons.

then you compare it to something like, fencing: Putting up electric wires around houses - big in south africa. swordfighting in gymhalls? she not very beeg.

so how big is the fencing team?

Jyoti Chetty (Women, Sabre) - Profile | Schedule
Adele Du Plooy (Women Sabre) - Profile | Schedule
Elvira Wood (Women Sabre) - Profile | Schedule
Michael Wood (Men's Epee) - Profile | Schedule
Dario Torrente (Men's Epee) - Profile | Schedule
Sello Maduma (Men's Epee) - Profile | Schedule

WTF?

if that attachment comes through, you can see that someone here is sucking cock at SASCOC, and they all have Sello to thank. I bet the Woods are married and couldn't afford a honeymoon. Dario is 42, our oldest dude the olympcs.

case of beer says none of them even make it past the first round.

fourth is last

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:58:00 +0000

So, just got the news from Sascoc. despite many behind closed door meetings, i will not be the last minute inclusion to the olympic squad. i blame Bhutana.

Will just keep the chin up, and start planning for London 2012. meanwhile lets be proudly seffrican and see what's on the menu?

once again, the aussies will make us cry with their medal haul. i got lazy and ctrl c ctrl v the spiel from sport.iafrica.com. don't think they complain as it wasn't even proofred. yes it is GODFREY!

Lords of the Rings
Article By: Rob PetersMon, 04 Aug 2008 22:47
With the Beijing Olympics kicking off this weekend, we list South Africa’s top medal contenders at the Summer Games! And, as expected, all eyes will again be on the pool this year.

SWIMMING

Team South Africa has generally done the best in the pool and we expect 2008 to be no different with a number of swimmers capable of a medal in the pool.

Roland Schoeman:

South Africa’s most successful swimmer at Athens four years ago, Schoeman continues to build on his success with a number of world records to his name. Schoeman can be expected to lead the charge in the swimming again this year.

Men's 4x100 freestyle team (Roland Schoeman, Ryk Neethling, Lyndon Ferns and Gideon Louw): The team stunned the world when they won gold in Athens, and while they have not shown the same world-beating form since then, there form of late has shown improvement with fourth place at the world champs. Gideon Louw has replaced Darian Townsend in the team from Athens and we are picking the boys for a podium finish.

Suzaan van Biljon: After a strong showing at the World Short Course Champs this year — a gold in and bronze in the 200m and 100m breaststroke respectively — the young swimmer is definitely one to keep an eye on in Beijing.

Gerhard Zandberg: The captain of the swimming team has shown his pedigree with a gold at the world champs in 2007 — one of only two for SA at the event — and will be determined to build on that performance at the Olympics this year. Zandberg will be competing in the 100m and 50m freestyle as well as the 50m backstroke and is a strong contender in all the events.

Natalie du Toit: Some might consider Du Toit happy with just qualifying for the able-bodies Games this year, but the driven young swimmer will be a realistic chance for a medal in the 10km open-water swim after finishing fourth at the world champs in Spain this year, thus earning her qualification. And if anybody can beat the odds, it is Natalie…

CYCLING

Team SA has two surprise contenders for medals in the cycling this year and both riders are seen as very realistic hopes of standing atop the podium come race-day.

Sifiso Nhlapo: Young BMX rider Nhlapo has been burning up the track lately, qualifying for Beijing with a third place at the world champs earlier this year. He has consistently been finishing on the podium during the series and has to be seen as a strong challenger at the Games.

Burry Stander: MTB star Burry Stander has been dominating the U23 World Cup, but it was his silver medal in the open event at the World Cup race in Andorra this year that made everybody sit up and take notice. Finishing behind current world champion Cristoff Sauser, Stander showed he has the ability to challenge the top racers and now finds himself a serious challenger in Beijing.

TRACK AND FIELD:

South Africa’s hopes in the track and field events are certainly not looking as good as previous Olympics, but we do have some challengers for medals.

Mbulaeni Mulaudzi: An Olympic silver medalist in 2004, Mulaudzi is back on track to challenge for a podium spot in 2008 after a strong showing at the Herculis Super Grand Prix meeting in July this year. The 800m star ran his fourth fastest time at the event, finishing in third place, and setting himself up well for Beijing.

Godfrey Mokoena (check up on first name) Long-jumping hopeful Mokoena has not been living up to his potential of late, but he regularly jumps over eight metres and on a good day he is one of the best in the world. He reportedly had a falling out with his coach – just a month before the Games – which is worrying, but he is still one to watch.

ROWING:

Ramon di Clemente and Shaun Keeling: Top SA Olympian Ramon Di Clemente and his new partner Shaun Keeling have been in fantastic form ahead of Beijing. Winning bronze at the World Cup in Poland and then winning the Henley Royal Regatta on the River Thames in July, the pairing have gelled fantastically well together. So expect the pair to pose a formidable challenge in Beijing.

CANOEING

Shaun Rubenstein: Before his Beijing qualification, Rubenstein was primarily a marathon contender, his decision to focus on the sprints was made with the Olympics in mind. And while he may not have had a breakthrough success in the discipline as of yet, he is knocking at the door with a couple of fourth-place finishes at World Cup events. The races are also incredibly close in the canoeing sprints and Rubenstein has a very good chance of a medal.

King Roger steps off the throne

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 09:14:00 +0000

This time last year it was unimaginable. He'd just won one of the greatest Wimbledon finals in a five setter and still had a good handle on the improving youngster who took him that far. We looked at it then

It looks like the reign of Roger Federer as the worlds No.1 player is over, for now. He's had a disastrous year by his standards. Normally he only loses the French Open final, this year he hasn't even won a grandslam yet.

He lost in the third round to Croatia's Ivo Karlovic despite holding all service games. If Nadal wins the tournament, then the 235 week run at the top is over. He's still young 26 and to be honest should have a longer career than 22 year old Nadal, who's body has to breakdown the way he plays.

Of course the Olympic Games and US Open are ideal places to bounce back from, but it's going to be really interesting to see if this is a blip in form or a genuine handover.

Don't forget about Australian Open champion Djokavic throwing a spanner in the works too. Rafa has to get past him in the tournament first.

how to fool security

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 08:32:00 +0000

So the security guys know me pretty damn well now. Come to work everyday for many moons and the faces become rather familiar. They feel for me when i pop in over the week-ends to get stuff done and dig it that i ride to work fairly often too.

Clearly some suit in an office above me sent out a directive, because now we all get checked for our access cards on arrival. Remember we're military stuff here, so it's supposed to be top secret, 'no unauthorised access' to get in the buildings anyway. So I walk through the gate and Joshua holds out his hand as if he's got an access card between his thumb and forefinger. It's an obvious way to say, 'show me your card, please'.

(it'll be much easier if you think about guys trying to tell stories about the size of fish they caught right here). This morning I took both hands and held them a foot apart, and said:
“hayi, madoda. wena makhwenkhwe, Joshua?” and i then changed my hand to 'holding the access card' and pointed at him.

Sello and Piet (the other two guards at the gate) just canned themselves. I walked straight past with them not noticing that i'd left my card at home.

Some of the whiteys out there might need an explanation, but i hold no responsibility to the accuracy of these facts:
madoda – post initation, ie. A Man who has come of age
makhwenkhwe – pre initiation, ie still a boy. If a Xhosa male does not go through his initiation ritual, then he can still be considered a makhwenkwe, no matter what the age.

It's a great way to get rid of the car guards, but doesn't seem to work on the Congolese dudes.

Elgin, we have a problem

RTD wishlist

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:15:00 +0000

So you might have noticed that I got found by these guys pretty damn quickly after I posted this. Not sure what they do all day, is google really watching me?

snapshot of carbon neutrality from my bike

Anyway, it seems like they're listening and they take their CARBON NEUTRAL (just put that in so it lights up their search engine) pretty seriously. Yes, you can save the planet by selling hemp t-shirts. Yes, three thousand people driving 100km will be offset by a grove of olive trees IF you recycle their waste. BIOdiesel is apparently not hogwash. ok, sure i believe you.

But whilst i have their attention, for what it's worth lets get that varied wishlist in:
KidofDoom
Perez Perez Perez
Harris Tweed
Karen Zoid
Dan Patlansky
Japan and I

and locals
Jacsharp (saw em last year for the first time)
Delta Blue (they still around?)
Valiant Swart
Boulevard Blues
Tait

and for the comedy slot, those 12th Avenue clowns

That's all for now, and if you hippies care I rode to work today.

l8test technology

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 08:17:00 +0000

So the one bonus about working in a hitech firm is that I get to see the next way the spietkops scnhaai us with speeding fines and cameras.

And no, I don't get exemption from paying them (but do have one outstanding - who shot the sheriff?).

Now this vehicle has been driving around our parking lot. The three cameras read the licence plates and checks them on a database realtime. Then they clamp you if you're an offender.

oh, and it has a killer sound system too.

The floral mystery, parth three

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:28:00 +0000

ok, so the first time I got in for free, so it was acceptable. But they pushed it last year, and i feel silly for going back for more!

The first music festival to actually work in cape town, is back!
Rocking the daisies - my gripe is that i still have yet to see any daisies there. this year its 3-5 oct, and again at Cloof wine estate

You won't find any band lineups there, but I'm on the inside, so will give you the prelim list:
ALAN FUNK, ETC CREW, DIRTY SKIRTS, NUNGARIN, BED ON BRICKS, AMA AMBUSH, AKING, FIRE THROUGH THE WINDOW, SON OF A THOUSAND BLUES, TAXI VIOLENCE, JULIA JAKOBSEN, TIDAL WAVES, HOT WATER, GOLDFISH, 7th SON, NAPALMA, UNIT R, NEW LOUD ROCKETS, MAMA KNOW NOTHING, SPOONFEEDAS, PLUSH, GODESSA, KOLO NOVO MOVIE BAND, 340ML, FARRYL PURKISS.

maybe there's some up country stuff to be added later too.

unfortunately it puts me in a quandry of sorts, as I'll miss out on both Lourensford MTB Classic and the Voet Marathon. But it's an easy choice, gotta go find that tent of mine.

the do try push the whole green earth bullsh1t thing, even going so far as claiming a 'carbon neutral' festival. 3000people driving 100km to go watch some bands? last year they gave us hemp tickets (and a paper receipt) and some hippie with grey hair planted a few olives. erm, can we listen to the band please? shot.

Allez allez

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:02:00 +0000

ok, so i'm going to be sick tomorrow afternoon. I'm pretty healthy, (despite the few cuts and scrapes on knee and elbow from a loss of concentration over the week-end, tar hurts!) but sometimes you need to make an excuse to get out the office to do something more important.

the road goes up there

Mine is to watch the biggest showdown on bikes we'll see in a longtime - the slog up Alp D'huez. It's a mythical climb and every cyclist wants to win this stage. It goes up three monster mountains.

Col du Galibier, Croix-de-Fer and L’Alpe d’Huez that are among the most daunting climbs in the Alps. This stage could well decide the final outcome of the race because the riders will have been in the saddle six hours before coming to final ascent. The 13.3km, 21-turn climb to the finish at L’Alpe d’Huez (population 1,700) is a classic, averaging 8.6 percent, with the second kilometer the steepest at 11.2 percent.

ouch, i think suikerbossie has only 15% of that altitude gain. no need to worry about the whole drug story thing, none of these guys are on pronutro

A thousand words

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:32:00 +0000

ok, so i don't have the permission to use this photo. It's well rather,........ I 'll just shut up and now and you decide.

my friend gus

Yes Tim, you have a problem

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:07:00 +0000

Well if you go to the right side of this screen you might see a link to my pal Tim. Don't bother following that link(and improve his analytics from single digit hits), he hasn't posted anything for 2 months and is rumoured to be:
a)dead
b)working on a mine in frozen northern canada.

personally that's a tough choice right there, innit?!

anyway, he's proud of his Salomon shoe collection, so proud he even wrote about them
here. {F@#k there i go and quadruple his ratings with that link}

naaaice

Anyway, i laugh at his k@k collection. My Salomon shoes are way cooler than yours Biltong boy. That's a pair of snowclogs on the left, best shoes for snow walking.I'm not just saying that, they frikken rock, and I'm standing whilst everyone else has slipped all over their nana's. In the middle you have my snowboard boots, and on the right, the inners (i did that to make it look like three pairs...sneaky)

as you can imagine, i think Tim's collection do more km's than mine

hi tech biking

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:22:00 +0000

next time you play poker look at the back of your card whilst small blind is weighing up his 7-2 unsuited. See how little the bicycle has really changed in 100 years (if you not playing with bicycle cards, then tell the host not to f@#k around next time).

of course there have been some huge advances over the years, and it looks like we might be facing the next one. It's been toyed with over the years, but just like flat screen tv's it seems to have been done right.

looks normal?

I'm talking about electronic shifting, i'm sure the suits at Shimano will call it "ride by wire" (because E-dura-ace is just too kak).
The big thing is that they are actually using it at the Tour.

and the back

will it work? well the one guy did get stuck in his 53-14 gear ratio the other day and they had to give him another bike!maybe the batteries were low. it'll be a fair while till we see these in your LBS

Check it out
here
and here

more muizies than the soopertube

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 14:20:00 +0000

so there's been some moaning about the recent lack of deep south content. It's winter for pete's sake (incidentally ideal surfing time).

So I'm gonna show you the latest surfboard to be born into the house. We've got some dutchies right now, and they are now into the whole surf vibe solid, i skeem. Three new custom boards, and this is the latest - what a beauty:

of course the irony it's a shortboard, which won't see much of muizies rollers but that's mere details.

currently doing its sea trials at J-Bay - naaaice!

Snow business like snow business

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 08:13:00 +0000

So we ran away from the sea, and strapped on a board of a different type.

ski bums

unfortunately the camera and me, did not spend the whole day together, but it's hard to take photos of powder anyway. yes pow pow pow.

Gav on the bunny slope

unfortunately there's a snowboarders/skiiers stand off and we couldn't use the lift. You EARN your turns when you hiking, lets just not tell physio why i am so sore today!

of course the location is top secret (thanks racerchicky), and requires some serious driving skills to get there. {anyone know if the 'diff lock' button in the isuzu bakkie is active or passive?)

bizarre problemo

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:29:00 +0000

so knysna hippie girl sms's me the other night really late.

'i just won a sheep, what do you do with a whole sheep?!'

well like duh, SPITBRAAI!

It appears she is actually in Knysna, and this is what they give out in nightclubs instead of drink specials. So all we really need is a bakkie coming home from the forest marathon this weekend. Anyone?

That's much cooler than slagging the thing there and putting it into mulitple coolboxes.

--
__/\/¯¯¯¯¯¯\/\__
No sympathy for the tubed

and we're back!

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:31:00 +0000

and running two blogs, for now!

yip, the race was awesome, so plenty of material there still to get out.

otherwise check out this bad business. the whole olympic sailing venue has been hit by the green glob....some algae crap that even the army has been called in to clean up!

Moblog

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 17:08:00 +0000

testing 123

--
__/\/¯¯¯¯¯¯\/\__
No sympathy for the tubed

the future is two wheeled

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:05:00 +0000

Things are going to be very quiet here soon.

aahhhh

because they are going to be noisier elsewhere.

yay

but we won't be in muizies

aaaah

but rather on a bike,

yay

racing across the country

yay

blogging a trail the whole way (network dependant!)

more here

just a teaser, here's my pool table right now!

a whole lotta box

Nonthuthulezo the Princess

noreply@blogger.com (steve) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:40:00 +0000

So we've sat on the fence with this whole ~~Zeno~~ Xenophobia thing. Awesome news just in is that the Sandvlei caravan park is being primed for the next refugee camp. This is mainly due to the Community Centres that are currently housing the 7000 homeless have mostly been booked for weddings with non-refundable deposits. I saw the 6 marquees go up on Friday, but they are still empty. Must remember to get the Lauren Hill and Wyclif Jean cd's out the box.

So when I had the weekly chit chat with my domestic, I had to ask how things were in her area.

Me: have there been any problems close to home?

Princess: No it's fine, we have a nice community. But it's terrible, that our people can be so selfish.

M: I know.

P: It's really sad for me to see it, how people can forget that only 30 years ago they all came from the Transkei and did the same thing. They're really selfish and I'm embarrassed.

Bless her soul, she's an absolute star.